Mike – blogitude.com http://blogitude.com Can't Laugh at Yourself? We'll do it for you! Wed, 16 Oct 2019 13:25:28 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=5.7 5360535 Happy New Year! http://blogitude.com/2019/01/01/happy-new-year-4/ Tue, 01 Jan 2019 16:04:58 +0000 http://blogitude.com/?p=9472 Mark, we hate you. We love you. Thank you for your service, bro — because even if you weren’t enlisted, you watched out for us, Old Man.

It is what it is.

Facebook Relationship Status: Netflix & Weed http://blogitude.com/2017/07/26/facebook-relationship-status-netflix/ Wed, 26 Jul 2017 23:31:25 +0000 http://blogitude.com/?p=9166 And everything was good until he realized Netflix was actually stalking him through his Samsung Smart TV…

Horror Movies: What Scares YOU? http://blogitude.com/2017/07/14/horror-movies-scares/ Fri, 14 Jul 2017 21:15:10 +0000 http://blogitude.com/?p=9158 I still have recurring nightmares about those little kids singing, “There’s something special going on at Shell!” in the gas station commercial from twenty years ago…

The Meaning of Life: It Isn’t 42? http://blogitude.com/2017/07/13/meaning-life-it-isnt-42/ Thu, 13 Jul 2017 21:15:41 +0000 http://blogitude.com/?p=9155 According The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, the Ultimate Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, The Universe and Everything is 42. Some people seem to have different ideas — namely, Mortal Kombat and Eggo Waffles — but they probably don’t own a digital watch and have no idea where their towel is.

Socrates: Education vs. Common Sense http://blogitude.com/2017/07/08/socrates-education-vs-common-sense/ Sat, 08 Jul 2017 21:08:04 +0000 http://blogitude.com/?p=9151 In ancient Greece, (469 – 399 BC), Socrates was reputed to hold knowledge in high esteem.

One day an acquaintance met the great philosopher and said, “Do you know what I just heard about your friend, Diogenes?”

“Hold on a minute,” Socrates replied. “Before telling me anything, I’d like you to pass a little test. It’s called the Triple Filter Test. Before you talk to me about my friend, it might be a good idea to take a moment and filter what you’re going to say. That’s why I call it the triple filter test. The first filter is TRUTH. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?”

“No,” the man said, “actually I just heard about it and…”

“All right,” said Socrates. “So you don’t really know if it’s true or not. Now let’s try the second filter, the filter of GOODNESS. Is what you are about to tell me about my friend something good?”

“No, on the contrary…”

“So,” Socrates continued, “you want to tell me something bad about him, but you’re not certain it’s true. You may still pass the test though, because there’s one filter left: the filter of USEFULNESS. Is what you want to tell me about my friend going to be useful to me?”

“No, not really.”

“Well,” concluded Socrates, “if what you want to tell me is neither true nor good nor even useful, why tell it to me at all?”

This is why Socrates was a great philosopher and held in such high regard. It also explains why Socrates never found out that Diogenes was banging his wife.

The Walking Dead: Eugene and Archer http://blogitude.com/2017/03/09/walking-dead-eugene-archer/ Thu, 09 Mar 2017 17:20:51 +0000 http://blogitude.com/?p=9126 After watching the March 5th’s The Walking Dead Season 7 episode, “Say Yes,” only one thing comes to mind…

Your License Plate Says What?! http://blogitude.com/2017/02/14/you-license-plate-says-what/ Tue, 14 Feb 2017 22:14:20 +0000 http://blogitude.com/?p=9122 Or is this a possible Stalker Alert for some guy named Ed, because their eyes are watching? The mind boggles…

License Plate: Not Sure if this says, "is loved" or "I sharted"

Valentine’s Day 2017 http://blogitude.com/2017/02/14/valentines-day-2017/ Tue, 14 Feb 2017 19:06:11 +0000 http://blogitude.com/?p=9118 The obituary notice will be running Thursday…

Manager Special at the Asian Store http://blogitude.com/2016/11/11/manager-special-asian-store/ Fri, 11 Nov 2016 15:38:13 +0000 http://blogitude.com/?p=9097 As is often the case with Engrish, it’s difficult to determine if they mean, “MAJESTIC ass biscuit” or “majestic ASS biscuit.”

It's not just any biscuit.  It's ... Majestic Ass Biscuit $4.99

What if Only Children Voted? http://blogitude.com/2016/11/09/what-if-only-children-voted/ Wed, 09 Nov 2016 20:59:42 +0000 http://blogitude.com/?p=9093 As long as they don’t forget to drop a few slimy Cheerios on it before turning it in…

Twitter - Ryan George: "Here's what the electoral map would look like if only 3-year-olds voted today."