Novia – Can't Laugh at Yourself? We'll do it for you! Wed, 29 May 2019 19:17:24 +0000 en-US hourly 1 5360535 Kinky Party at Home Depot Thu, 01 May 2014 17:05:23 +0000 Home Depot apparently has party favors on aisle 15!

Home Depot: "Hardware Aisle 15 - Libricants, Rope & Chain, Screws, Tie Downs"

The Truth Isn’t Always Pretty Tue, 18 Mar 2014 01:13:37 +0000 Be honest. I have faith that you can sit there right now and think of at least one person whose favorite shade of lipstick is “penis.”

I don't see any penises the general vicinity... So I'm wondering why you keep opening your fucking mouth.

International Disturbed People’s Day Sun, 16 Mar 2014 23:32:24 +0000 Just a note to some of my special friends…

Today is International Disturbed People's Day. Please send an encouraging message to a distrubed friend just like I have done.  I don't care if you lick the windows, take the special bus or occasionally pee yourself. You hang in there sunshine, you're friggin special.

Wanna Stay in Chicago? Sun, 16 Mar 2014 21:28:18 +0000 Guns are illegal in Chicago. Aaand that’s the problem!

Come to Chicago For the Food. Stay Because You Got Murdered.

95 Year Old Woman with Carry Permit Wed, 12 Mar 2014 21:10:13 +0000 Exactly!

A state trooper stopped a 95 year old woman on Interstate 20, and noticed as he was checking her drivers license, that she had a concealed carry permit. He said got any guns with you ma'am? She said yes, a 45 Smith & Wesson in the glove compartment, a 357 magnum in the console and a 38 special in my purse. The trooper said LADY what are you scared of. She said.... NOT A DAMN THING!

Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater Sun, 09 Mar 2014 21:19:39 +0000 Well played!

I would like to say, Congratulations to Shara Cormier and Patrick Brown... They are expecting a baby.  Hope you both are really in love and hope it works out.  Always, Patrick's wife, Timeshia Brown

Is it Strange to Take a Knife on a Date? Thu, 06 Mar 2014 22:09:31 +0000 My grandfather always told me not to date a boy that didn’t carry a pocket knife. It’s a good quote. I’ve certainly learned my lesson!

When I see lovers' names carved into a tree I don't think it's cute. I just think it's strange how many people take knives on a date.

Can’t Find the Right Man? Thu, 06 Mar 2014 18:59:26 +0000 Well, that certainly explains why I like zombies so much!

Zombies (n.): The only men that will love you for your brains.