Novia – blogitude.com http://blogitude.com Can't Laugh at Yourself? We'll do it for you! Wed, 29 May 2019 19:17:24 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=5.7 5360535 Kinky Party at Home Depot http://blogitude.com/2014/05/01/kinky-party-home-depot/ Thu, 01 May 2014 17:05:23 +0000 http://blogitude.com/?p=8435 Home Depot apparently has party favors on aisle 15!

Home Depot: "Hardware Aisle 15 - Libricants, Rope & Chain, Screws, Tie Downs"

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The Truth Isn’t Always Pretty http://blogitude.com/2014/03/17/truth-isnt-always-pretty/ Tue, 18 Mar 2014 01:13:37 +0000 http://blogitude.com/?p=8377 Be honest. I have faith that you can sit there right now and think of at least one person whose favorite shade of lipstick is “penis.”

I don't see any penises the general vicinity... So I'm wondering why you keep opening your fucking mouth.

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International Disturbed People’s Day http://blogitude.com/2014/03/16/international-disturbed-peoples-day/ Sun, 16 Mar 2014 23:32:24 +0000 http://blogitude.com/?p=8362 Just a note to some of my special friends…

Today is International Disturbed People's Day. Please send an encouraging message to a distrubed friend just like I have done.  I don't care if you lick the windows, take the special bus or occasionally pee yourself. You hang in there sunshine, you're friggin special.

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Wanna Stay in Chicago? http://blogitude.com/2014/03/16/wanna-stay-chicago/ Sun, 16 Mar 2014 21:28:18 +0000 http://blogitude.com/?p=8360 Guns are illegal in Chicago. Aaand that’s the problem!

Come to Chicago For the Food. Stay Because You Got Murdered.

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95 Year Old Woman with Carry Permit http://blogitude.com/2014/03/12/95-year-old-woman-carry-permit/ Wed, 12 Mar 2014 21:10:13 +0000 http://blogitude.com/?p=8332 Exactly!

A state trooper stopped a 95 year old woman on Interstate 20, and noticed as he was checking her drivers license, that she had a concealed carry permit. He said got any guns with you ma'am? She said yes, a 45 Smith & Wesson in the glove compartment, a 357 magnum in the console and a 38 special in my purse. The trooper said LADY what are you scared of. She said.... NOT A DAMN THING!

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Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater http://blogitude.com/2014/03/09/cheater-always-cheater/ Sun, 09 Mar 2014 21:19:39 +0000 http://blogitude.com/?p=8303 Well played!

I would like to say, Congratulations to Shara Cormier and Patrick Brown... They are expecting a baby.  Hope you both are really in love and hope it works out.  Always, Patrick's wife, Timeshia Brown

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Is it Strange to Take a Knife on a Date? http://blogitude.com/2014/03/06/strange-take-knife-date/ Thu, 06 Mar 2014 22:09:31 +0000 http://blogitude.com/?p=8279 My grandfather always told me not to date a boy that didn’t carry a pocket knife. It’s a good quote. I’ve certainly learned my lesson!

When I see lovers' names carved into a tree I don't think it's cute. I just think it's strange how many people take knives on a date.

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Can’t Find the Right Man? http://blogitude.com/2014/03/06/cant-find-right-man/ Thu, 06 Mar 2014 18:59:26 +0000 http://blogitude.com/?p=8274 Well, that certainly explains why I like zombies so much!

Zombies (n.): The only men that will love you for your brains.

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