I know one person who wouldn’t be answering the phone at all but it’s his work number. lol

The Roof-Jump Danger Analyzer app for iOS looks like a great way to help keep some inferior chromosomes out of the gene pool.

This very well might explain a few friends’ douchey husbands…

Meanwhile, in crazy land…

It was, in fact, a ceramic squirrel, and the entire thing happened because the guy didn’t bring his wife back any beer. He was also, in fact, in the kitchen, unsupervised, making his own damn sammich when the attack occurred.

This story is starting to sound eerily familiar… But I digress. *cough*

Note: Courtesy of NBC 9, Story at NBC 2

I’m sorry to report that I’m not feeling very “patriotic” lately, given my personal circumstances. Regardless, I do wish everyone a happy — and, most of all, safe! — Fourth of July.