Posts Tagged with "humor"

Valentine Stalker?

February 14th, 2014 at 5:05 pm by Mark
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As long as there are no threats, no cars demolished or cats boiled, it’s probably ok, as long as they announce themselves beforehand…

Card: "Stalker is such a harsh word." "I prefer Valentine."

Tip: Chered, via Facebook

It’s Good to Have Dreams & Ambitions

January 16th, 2014 at 3:20 pm by Mark
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When we were younger, we were told we could be anything we wanted to be.

I wanted to be an Astronaut: I ended up working on a NASA project in the 90’s. I wanted to be Indiana Jones: I ended up standing in the ruins of some of the oldest temples and cities in the world. I wanted to be rich: I’ve made a few fortunes, and they’re fleeting, but the experiences I’ve had and friends I’ve gained along the way have made me rich beyond belief.

One of my cousins? He wanted be a firetruck. Or a dinosaur. Tough luck, dude.

C3P0 with Iron Man Paint Job: "We All Have Dreams"

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Viral Book Reviews: How To Avoid Huge Ships

December 29th, 2013 at 5:09 pm by Mark
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I’ve never read this book, but the Amazon reviews are nothing short of fascinating.

Instructions too complicated, December 28, 2013
By Eric Post

Instructions too complicated. Got my dick caught in a ceiling fan. I would not recommend this book, except as firewood.

I truly hate it when any book causes me to get my manhood trapped in a ceiling fan.

"How To Avoid Huge Ships" by Captain John W. Trimmer

Dyslexia Holding You Back?

December 22nd, 2013 at 1:32 pm by Mark
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I’m lysdexic, myself, and I’ve found it makes writing a real chore.

Steve: "I'm having a time with school. My dyslexia is really holding me back. I'm not sure what to do."  Larry: "afhiulokfakjaklda;ksd;falskdfj"  Steve: "What the fuck, Larry? Is that supposed to be some kind of funny joke? You are such an asshole sometimes."  Larry: "ljahdfuouncauihajsdfk"  Steve: "Go to hell, Larry."

Does That Constitute a Racial Slur?

December 21st, 2013 at 12:30 pm by Mark
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At least the first guy’s not in the UK and constantly being referred to as Jamaican, even though he’s from London, right?

"Everyone keeps referring to me as African American.  I'm from the UK!"  "They keep calling Chinese. But I'm actually Korean." "They keep calling me Drunk.  I'm just Irish!"

Note: Just had to give Paul @ URLyBits a bit of Hell. 😉