Mark, we hate you. We love you. Thank you for your service, bro — because even if you weren’t enlisted, you watched out for us, Old Man.

It is what it is.

And everything was good until he realized Netflix was actually stalking him through his Samsung Smart TV…

I still have recurring nightmares about those little kids singing, “There’s something special going on at Shell!” in the gas station commercial from twenty years ago…

According The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, the Ultimate Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, The Universe and Everything is 42. Some people seem to have different ideas — namely, Mortal Kombat and Eggo Waffles — but they probably don’t own a digital watch and have no idea where their towel is.

In ancient Greece, (469 – 399 BC), Socrates was reputed to hold knowledge in high esteem.

One day an acquaintance met the great philosopher and said, “Do you know what I just heard about your friend, Diogenes?”

“Hold on a minute,” Socrates replied. “Before telling me anything, I’d like you to pass a little test. It’s called the Triple Filter Test. Before you talk to me about my friend, it might be a good idea to take a moment and filter what you’re going to say. That’s why I call it the triple filter test. The first filter is TRUTH. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?”

“No,” the man said, “actually I just heard about it and…”

“All right,” said Socrates. “So you don’t really know if it’s true or not. Now let’s try the second filter, the filter of GOODNESS. Is what you are about to tell me about my friend something good?”

“No, on the contrary…”

“So,” Socrates continued, “you want to tell me something bad about him, but you’re not certain it’s true. You may still pass the test though, because there’s one filter left: the filter of USEFULNESS. Is what you want to tell me about my friend going to be useful to me?”

“No, not really.”

“Well,” concluded Socrates, “if what you want to tell me is neither true nor good nor even useful, why tell it to me at all?”

This is why Socrates was a great philosopher and held in such high regard. It also explains why Socrates never found out that Diogenes was banging his wife.