Posts Tagged with "cellphones"

Choked on a Goat and Peed in Your Coffee?

January 18th, 2014 at 7:28 pm by Mark
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The silver lining, I suppose, is that the goat didn’t pee in the coffee…

"Yeah my morning was shitty...and the rest of the day was hot...Monterey is good. This morning I choked on a goat and pissed in my coffee." "Lol!!" "LOL NO...I choked on my TOAST and SPILLED my coffee....fuckin spell check..." "I like the other one better!!" "You would...hippy..."

Keep Your Friends Close and Your Enemas Closet?

January 18th, 2014 at 5:45 pm by Mark
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I really don’t wanna hear about your “best” one…

Auto Correct Has Become My Worst Enema

Stock Photos

Using Cleavage to Avoid a Ticket?

December 18th, 2013 at 5:07 pm by Mark
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As some women do — and we all know at least one — she’ll likely end up driving away without a ticket due to her ability to, “utilize her assets.” Whoever said, “Justice is blind,” obviously never had to deal with a pair of 36D’s in a push-up bra.

Cleavage, don't fail me now!

Teenager Stands No Chance Against Sarcastic Parent

July 12th, 2013 at 5:36 pm by Mark
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Teenagers can be the most sarcastic, irreverent lifeforms in the known universe. But this one is still not gonna get one up on Dad…

(to dad) "What's up?" "Gas prices." "Lol, dad. I mean like what are ou doing?" "Your mom." "I want to move out."

You Never Know What You’ll Get on Craigslist

July 11th, 2013 at 5:09 pm by Mark
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I was looking for a car once, and told the woman I was calling about the ad. She gave me her address, and when I showed up, she said, “Just remember, no biting or hitting, and you have to use a condom.” Apparently, she was selling more than just a Lumina on Craigslist…

"Hi, this is Randy. I saw your penis for sale on Craigslist. Is it still available? If so I would like to come take it for a test drive tonight sometime."  "Hi Randy, im selling a prius. Is that what you meant?"  "YES!!! Apologies new phone"  "Well it's craigslist. You never know."