Giblets. Who the hell named all the yack in a turkey “giblets” anyway?

And it’s not that giblets aren’t around any other time of year, but this would be the only time of year that I will actually touch and prepare an actual bird.

A note to all you kids who aren’t savvy when it comes to turkey porn… When looking for the giblets, it is required that you stick your hand up the turkey’s ass. There you will also find it’s neck (please know I’m gaggin’ over here just thinking about this). If you find a neck but no giblet package, pull your hand out of the turkey’s ass, turn the turkey over, and shove your hand down it’s throat. There you are sure to find that lovely little package of turkey gutz.

Trust me on this one kids, it happened to a really close friend of mine. You DO NOT want to bring your beautifully golden, perfectly tender turkey to the table for the ceremonial carving only to find a baked, crusty, brown bag full of nasty turkey goodies. It’s just not a pretty sight.