At 5:00AM on this particularly and unseasonably wet-cold morning, a solid half-million people were on the roads in Knoxville, TN in search of elusive, and oft-sold-out, rock-bottom prices for their Holiday gifts in the shopping phenomenon known as Black Friday.
Fortunately, this blogitude.com staff member was there to make fun of them.

     After scanning the Gamestop Black Friday Deals website and finding nothing that couldn’t have been purchased for the same, or slightly less, cost at Walmart up to six months ago, I visited two local Gamestop locations to find masses of people lined up in front of the store, huddling together in the cold, attempting to keep warm.  Unbeknownst to them, their waits would be rather long, as Gamestop didn’t open at 5AM, or even 6AM, as it did in many other areas.

     As there was clearly nothing special to be found, I decided to attempt another ruse to get a great deal from Gamestop.  At 5:20AM, I stood in the parking lot and yelled, “Playstation 3 sucks!” loudly.  The response was only minimal, but overwhelmingly positive, in fact.  Apparently everyone knows that Playstation 3 sucks, and I thought that perhaps it might be best to try another location to scour for a Gamestop deal.

     At location two, the crowd was a bit rowdier.  And so, at 5:45AM, I yelled, “Playstation 3 sucks!” as loudly as possible.  Unfortunately, this resulted in a good-natured, “Hell, yeah!” and a few people raising their hands and shooting invisible laser guns in the air, complete with sounds effects.
     After scouring other stores in the area for Black Friday malady, I decided to return to Gamestop at 6:12AM to find an even larger crowd gathered in front of the business.  Since my logic had failed in insulting the Playstation 3 (I won’t insult the Xbox 360), I decided to try another tactic.

     “Jean-Luc Picard is a fag!” seemed to be the magic phrase.  The Gamestop employee guarding the front door (easily identified by the rockstar-groupie style badge hanging around his neck) zinged a white Xbox 360 Wireless Controller at me, clearing a distance of nearly twenty feet!  Who said spending the majority of your life pushing buttons on a gaming controller doesn’t count as physical activity?
And so, I returned home happy, with yet another Xbox 360 Wireless Controller, courtesy of Gamestop!  What an incredible Black Friday Deal!

     Black Friday Shopping like this makes it all worth it.  Yes, it’s the one on the lower left.

     Please note that when taking advantage of this deal, your choices of controllers may be limited.  Controller may have minor-to-medium cosmetic damage.  Controller may or may not have a battery pack, whether standard or rechargeable.  Gamestop is not responsible for any medical bills directly or indirectly caused by taking advantage of this deal.  Other restrictions may apply, so please check your local Gamestop store!