After rounding the world four times and getting the piercings, but only having three earrings to show for it because he's too picky about what he'll actually put back in his ear, Mark attempted to settle down back in his hometown of Knoxville, Tennessee. This, of course, did not happen because, quite apparently, he has been biologically implanted with a PsychoMagnetâ„¢ which makes even the most stable of people batshit crazy.
Mark is currently "hiding" in wildly public places, and making as much noise as possible, while throngs of anonymous nutjobs accuse him of every salacious deed imaginable, such as the unseasonable rainfall of 2011, the murders of several prominent people who are still very much alive, and the 1915 sinking of the Lusitania. Mark is a carnivorous smoker who is Politically agnostic, unable to reproduce, refuses all manners of Internet dating, and generally believes that Murphy was an optimist.
February 25th, 2013 at 5:34 pm by Mark
Tags: alderaan, death star, lego, star wars
After the kids leave and go home, their bedroom most always looks like Lego Alderaan, and must be traversed in the same manner as navigating an uncharted asteroid field…

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February 24th, 2013 at 5:25 pm by Mark
Tags: grumpy cat, kristen stewart, twilight
I wonder who would win in a competition between American’s most popular single-expression cat and America’s most popular single-expression actress?

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February 23rd, 2013 at 9:06 pm by Mark
Tags: grumpy cat, gun control, guns
Truer words were never spoken…

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February 22nd, 2013 at 7:16 pm by Mark
Tags: keep calm, psychology, social commentary, stress
“Keep Calm and Carry On” propaganda, created by the British Information Ministry during World War II has been one of the most widely overused slogans on the Internet for the pasts few months. There have been sarcastic spoofs galore, most probably due, in no small part, to the fact that a vast majority of people are so willing to indiscriminately bite the heads off of every around them for no apparent reason…

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February 22nd, 2013 at 5:43 pm by Mark
Tags: irony, psychology, social commentary, stress, willie wonka
Have you ever been entirely stressed to the point of depression, and instead of being the least bit compassionate, people just kick you even harder? There’s an old saying, “You can only kick an old dog so many times before it bites you.” What’s even more sick is after the fact, when the people doing the kicking stand around giving commentary that the ‘bite’ was “unexpected,” or that the distressed person “obviously had serious mental issues.”

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