Unfortunate Names

October 26th, 2007 at 5:33 pm by Mark
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     Every once in a while, I run across some crazy names — things which are innocent, but could certainly sound like a prank phone call if you didn’t know any better.  These are all true:

  • I once knew a girl named Sunshine Beam.  I knew another named Sunny Rae Dawn.  Someone said their parents did drugs.
  • I have a friend named Anita Brown-Dixon.  Of course, I don’t think she’s ever had one, and certainly wouldn’t tell her son anything of the sort.
  • I met a woman in Nashville named Anita Boner.  She really loves her husband… A lot.
  • I have another friend, a Pirate Chick no less, named Robyn Cox.
  • A friend of a friend called to ask me for help with something.  “Mark?  This is Dick Sells.”  I asked him who was buying.  
  • I once knew a guy named John Ope.  His middle initial was L, and he usually went by Jack…  “Hello, Mr. Jackalope!”
  • I met Ira Fuson a few months ago…
  • …and imagine my surprise to meet the real Benjamin Dover.
  • Everyone knows at least one John Turner.
  • There’s a huge family of Fags just south of here.  Poor Richard… and some of them married Johnsons.
  • There actually was a guy in a local high school named Mike Hunt.  He lives in Oak Ridge.

8 Responses to “Unfortunate Names”

  1. Mushy Says:

    Very funny…I won’t mention the Fonda Peters I once knew!

  2. Mark Says:

    Wait’ll you see the Business version of this very thing… I’m gonna try and post those next week …

    Too bad RIMCO changed their sign … I was gonna get a photo today. heh

  3. Anita Says:

    Bite me …. LOL

  4. Mark Says:

    Nah … Cuz you’d like it, and my girlfriend wouldn’t. heh

    Nice to see you’re still around. 😉

  5. Zacque Says:

    Just the kind of wonderful sarcastic behavior I miss so dearly… Sorry, there for a while I thought that my needs just weren’t being met…

  6. Bigbadaddio Says:

    I did business with with a guy named Dick Sass. No shit, seriously. He’s actually a CEO of a medical devices startup in Portland.

    But, c’mon. If your last name is Sass, it doesn’t matter what your first name is – Tom Sass, Mark Sass. It always sounds like the possessive case. You get the idea. But why on Earth would you make it even worse by taking on the nickname, “Dick?”

  7. Zacque Says:

    I’m sorry… I have no more full names to add have some interesting last names Nail and Sparks. I am just tired of see one post have all of the recent comments. After all, what does it really matter I don’t exist. Who knows? Maybe I really do exist…

  8. someguy Says:

    I saw this on google when I searched for Anita Boner. a older guy pulled up beside me and my friend when we were like 15 and asked if we knew where this girl lived, I figured he was messing around or maybe a turd burglar.
    Btw, there is a guy here in Virginia by the name of Dick Glover (dick lover lol)