Posts Tagged with "balloon boy"

Balloon Boy Proves Wolf Blitzer is Still an Asshole

October 22nd, 2009 at 1:30 am by Mark
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     Yes, as seen on morning, daytime and nightly television, it’s the FABULOUS, HIGHLY SOUGHT AFTER Balloon Boy costume, just in time for Halloween!

The gondola is a semi-scale precision laser cut unit that attaches to the bottom of Plantraco’s 38″ metallized nylon flying saucer balloon. It has the same chance of lifting your 6-year old as the one you may have seen on CNN or MSNBC TV. So don’t call the national guard or you might get yourself in a bit of trouble eh? It’s a bit smaller, but we are certain you can still fool CNN’s Wolf Blitzer for a long while to come! That’s whatcha call quality investigative journalism right? Right!

     Of course, it doesn’t take much to fool monotonous mediatard Wolf Blitzer, the man who singlehandedly caused the shooting death of FBI Agent Linda Franklin on October 14th, 2002 by going on television to goad and belittle the then-famous, and media-addicted, Beltway Sniper with statements like, “You’re not a real sniper!  A real sniper would make head shots!”  Agent Franklin was, of course, fatally shot in the head only hours later, as she left a DC-Area Home Depot.

     The fact that this asshat is still on television grates my nerves.

     Well, that, and every other ridiculously speculative, non-story they re-air every fifteen minutes… Oh, like how they accused security guard Richard Jewell of trying to blow up Olympic Centennial Park… or … Balloon Boy…

Tip: Okay, Anton sent the lin to the Halloween Costume, which is brilliant.  But seeing Wolf Blitzer’s name in print just pissed me off…