Posts Tagged with "dyslexia"

McRodents – 10 Pounds for $1?

March 22nd, 2015 at 5:17 pm by Mark
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For the lysdexics in the audience, the sign below does *not* say that the mice are McFurry…

McDonald's Ice - MICE - 10 LB Bag $1.00.

Dyslexia Holding You Back?

December 22nd, 2013 at 1:32 pm by Mark
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I’m lysdexic, myself, and I’ve found it makes writing a real chore.

Steve: "I'm having a time with school. My dyslexia is really holding me back. I'm not sure what to do."  Larry: "afhiulokfakjaklda;ksd;falskdfj"  Steve: "What the fuck, Larry? Is that supposed to be some kind of funny joke? You are such an asshole sometimes."  Larry: "ljahdfuouncauihajsdfk"  Steve: "Go to hell, Larry."

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Oh, She Likes it There?

March 19th, 2012 at 5:38 pm by Mark
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Sometimes lysdexia can cause us to see all sorts of things…

Too Many Typos

December 27th, 2006 at 12:59 pm by Mark
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     Lately, every time I sit down to write, it takes far too long.  And yet, for several days after I hit “Publish,” I still find a number of glaringly obvious mistakes.  There’s rarely a mispelling, mind you, but often a missing word or prepositional phrase, sometimes with disastrous consequences for what might have been a perfectly good paragraph.
     Lysdexia sucsk.

     Everyone makes mistakes, however, I don’t want to use that as an excuse for producing a poor-quality article.  So, seriously, how often do we make these sorts of mistakes when writing with pen and paper?  Certainly, the predominance of the computer has made this a much more difficult excercise.
     I was reminded of an e-mail Swanky sent me a few years ago, full of mistakes from newspaper ads:

  • 2 female Boston Terrier puppies, 7 wks old, Perfect markings, 555-1234. Leave mess.
  • Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family.
  • A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms.
  • Dinner Special — Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.
  • For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.
  • Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.
  • Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.
  • Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory.
  • Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night.
  • We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.
  • For Sale. Three canaries of undermined sex.
  • For Sale — Eight puppies from a German Shepperd and an Alaskan Hussy.
  • Great Dames for sale.
  • Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.
  • Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.
  • Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.
  • Vacation Special: have your home exterminated.
  • If you think you’ve seen everything in Paris, visit the Pere Lachasis Cemetery. It boasts such immortals as Moliere, Jean de la Fontain, and Chopin.
  • Mt. Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for the Serena Lodge. Swim in the lovely pool while you drink it all in.
  • The hotel has bowling alleys, tennis courts, comfortable beds, and other athletic facilities.
  • Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours.
  • Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.
  • Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else.
  • Stock up and save. Limit: one.
  • We build bodies that last a lifetime.
  • For Rent: 6-room hated apartment.
  • Man, honest. Will take anything.
  • Wanted: chambermaid in rectory. Love in, $200 a month. References required.
  • Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.
  • UsedCars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first!
  • Christmans tag-sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person.
  • Wanted: Hair-cutter. Excellent growth potential.
  • Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.
  • 3-year-old teacher need for pre-school. Experience preferred.
  • Our experienced Mom will care of your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.
  • Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops.
  • Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you’ll never go anywhere again.
  • Illiterate? Write today for free help.
  • Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue Cross and salary.
  • Wanted. Widower with school-age children requires person to assume general housekeeping duties. Must be capable of contributing to growth of family.
  • Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.
  • Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale.
  • And now, the Superstore–unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience.
  • We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00.

     At least I’m in good company. 😉

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