Posts Tagged with "theft"

Vanilla Ice Accepts Plea Deal in Florida Theft Case

April 2nd, 2015 at 5:18 pm by Mark
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Back in February, Robert “Vanilla Ice” Van Winkle was arrested and charged for the theft of a pool heater, a few bicycles and other items from a Florida home. He fist claimed that the items were curbside, however, later changed his story that it was all a misunderstanding. Unfortunately, I believe this was the same kind of rationalization which led him a to a guilty verdict for plagiarism in a case brought forward by David Bowie and Queen back in the 80’s… Today, Mr. Ice accepted a plea deal that allows him to make $1300 in restitution to the victims of his theft and perform 100 hours of Community Service with Habitat for Humanity — and stay out of jail.

Alright, Stop. Collaborate and Listen.  Ice was in Jail 'cause some shit went missin'...

Thievery Fail

September 28th, 2012 at 5:59 pm by Mark
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There are certainly some stupid thieves around these days

Tip: Steven at Winextra

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Thief Gets Just Reward

August 20th, 2012 at 5:38 pm by Mark
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While being interviewed by police during booking, it was determined the thief was, indeed, full of shit.

Thievery Fail

May 21st, 2012 at 5:46 pm by Mark
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For most thieves, the only sin is stupidity.

Stock Photos

12-Step Program Needed

December 4th, 2007 at 9:58 am by Diva
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I think I need a 12-step program. I have a major problem that, no matter how much effort I put into it, I can’t seem to fix.

Big T comes to my office now and then to visit. One afternoon, he popped by and asked us, “Do you have any string or twine or anything around here. I need about 2 feet of it.”

I, forever and always being the helpful & loving wife that I am, say, “Well baby, I have this left over blue ribbon from the bridesmaid bouquets if that’ll work.”

I toss him the ribbon and think nothing else of it. He says he loves me, gives me kisses and goes on his merry little way.

Fast-forward to 5:15pm, when I get home from work. I come in as usual and Big T gives me my hugs and kisses as I head upstairs to start dinner… when it caught my eye…

That ass-munch had duct-taped the ribbon to his lighter that sits on the end table. The other end of the ribbon was inserted into the slate slabs that make the top of the table. It looked like one of those pens that the bank tries to keep safe by chaining them to the teller spots.

Why would he do such a sarcastic thing?

Because I am Diva. I have a problem. I steal lighters.

Yes, my friends, I’m a kleptomaniac.

I found that I am attracted to steal lighters like a monkey will steal your wallet at the circus. It is bad.

How bad is it, you ask. When Big T asked me to empty my jacket pocket and purse, the lighter count was seven (7). Ooops.

Moral of the story is.. Until I get the proper help, if we’re out drinkin’ together, please (please, please) keep your lighter in your pocket or at least come get it back from me.

Consider this fair warning. I can not be held responsible.