A few months ago, I was using a urinal in a public restroom, minding my business.  As I zipped and turned, some idiot, for reasons still unknown, swung a punch — and missed.  I quickly used the momentum of his failed blow to spin him and throw him down hard.  I held his face to floor for several minutes, all the while explaining the reason this was a bad idea.  Eventually, he said, “Uncle” and I pulled my knee from under his shoulder blade.
     With tears streaming down his face (which, considering his aggressive condition, may have been more to do with several minutes of close proximity to years of stale urine and industrial strength floor cleaner than actual pain), he proceeded to leave the establishment.
     Although he apologized to me and several other patrons for the trouble he’d caused, he did scream, “F#$* you all!  I’m never coming to this place again!” exactly one second before exiting the building.  This is expected behavior from an aggressive asshat.
     Apparently, said asshat had already caused a lot of problems.  Some of the regulars, who had observed the last portion of the short-lived melee, found the situation altogether hilarious.  It wasn’t long after that I was sitting at the bar (no one would find that shocking) drinking an on-the-House pitcher of beer.
     We laughed, discussed, and I was accepted as “part of the family.”  Eventually, the subject of our banter became “restroom etiquette.”

     Though we did not create this video (the fine folks at Zarathustra Studios did it, using The Sims 2, Sim City 4 and some other cool stuff), many of these same subjects were touched upon…

…U GOTZ TEH BOOZE?

Tip: Me, via I CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER. Thanks for posting it!

[ Some useless asshat copied this image into his April Flickr photostream, and marked it Creative Commons/Derivative. License to use the derivative work has been granted by the original photographer, KC (again) / Angele. ]

If not of satan, then a spawn of said demon.
They are almost as bad as Wal-Mart, yet another corporate money-grubber I hate with a purple passion.

I went to pay my monthly Comcast bill online by check, although I didn’t have much money and needed money right away so I went to the check into cash on getwell. Have technology, why not use it. Save a stamp, save a tree.
Well, when I clicked submit, it gave me an error message and number, which I’m glad I wrote down. So, I called and went through an seemingly endless barrage of the same automated questions being asked over and over by an annoying voiced robot. Then, as has been every other time I’ve called Comcast, I was put into the standard holding pattern like an Airbus 300 waiting to land at Los Angeles International Airport.

I was given clearance to land, and began my decent into the always fun world of call center customer service.

I spoke with girl this time who said she didn’t see any pending payments or anything and that I should just make my payment over the phone.

So, I did. With my debit card, which goes immediately. Come to find out 30 minutes later, the internet payment had went through and here is my confirmation.

So, I call them (Comcast) back, I go through the automated answering phone maze again and back into the standard holding pattern like an F16 circling Baghdad, only to talk to a not so pleasant or helpful fellow named Josh. They can’t stop either payment, he says.
“Hello.” Say I, Just reverse the charges on the debit card, pal!!??!!”

To which Josh says repeatedly, “I’m sorry, ma’am. Once payments are through, they are through and there is nothing we can do about it. I spent more than 45 minutes of my valuable time, not to mention all the hold time, fighting with Josh about how all of this is not my fault.
I would have never paid over the phone had I not received an error message up on the clicking of the submit button.

So, I get on my cell phone and call the bank whilst on hold . And, as the useless bloodsuckers they are, can’t stop any payments, as both are technically electronic payments.

Color me screwed. So two payments in the amount of $153.00 are going to be sucked out of my bank account because Comcast’s website sucks on severely proportionate levels

Now I’m on hold with them again, as they always have higher than normal call volume.