Today I decided to do some experimenting.

That right there should scare you.

The last time I decided to do some experimenting I chose to see if a stream of piss could hit a piece of lint floating harmlessly down towards the toilet from somewhere around my shoulders.  As the airflow dynamics of a stream of piss proved: you can’t.  Or at least I didn’t.

So, let’s just say that the loss of my shirt and pants was nothing compared to the loss of bathroom privileges at this one particular friends house.

Anyways.

Today I decided to take a shit while jerking off.

The act of writing that last sentence was almost as difficult as the actual act so let me repeat it:

“Today I decided to take a shit while jerking off.”

Now some of you are like “Ewwwww, gross!”, others are like “Huh?”, and then there are those of you who are like “So the fuck what?” and to them I say:

I wasn’t in a bathroom.