The Cure for What Ails You

November 16th, 2009 at 2:07 am by Mark
Tags: , , , , ,

Because sometimes, 200mg is just not enough:

New Advil® 9mm!
For permanent relief of symptoms including, but not limited to, mild to severe migraines, tension and sinus headaches, joint pain and inflammation, constipation, heart problems, diabetes, dry mouth, cancer, clinical and non-clinical depression and anxiety, H1N1 virus, erectile dysfunction, sexually transmitted diseases, intruders, terrorists, door-to-door salesmen, annoying people who just won’t STFU, and those damn raccoons.

Also available in .45 ACP!

WARNING: Do not ingest or insert into rectum.  Not for
use on immediate family or Law Enforcement personnel.

Advil® and the Advil® Logo are copyrights of Wyeth Consumer Healthcare

Get $20 of bonus stock when you make a deposit on Stash!

3 Responses to “The Cure for What Ails You”

  1. hope Says:

    can you buy those over the counter, or do you have to have an Rx?

  2. Mushy Says:

    I could use some .380 ammo right now!

  3. Mark Says:

    Meh, what’s a thousandth of an inch between rounds? 😉