Author Archive for Mark

After rounding the world four times and getting the piercings, but only having three earrings to show for it because he's too picky about what he'll actually put back in his ear, Mark attempted to settle down back in his hometown of Knoxville, Tennessee. This, of course, did not happen because, quite apparently, he has been biologically implanted with a PsychoMagnetâ„¢ which makes even the most stable of people batshit crazy. Mark is currently "hiding" in wildly public places, and making as much noise as possible, while throngs of anonymous nutjobs accuse him of every salacious deed imaginable, such as the unseasonable rainfall of 2011, the murders of several prominent people who are still very much alive, and the 1915 sinking of the Lusitania. Mark is a carnivorous smoker who is Politically agnostic, unable to reproduce, refuses all manners of Internet dating, and generally believes that Murphy was an optimist.

How To Keep Warm During the Cold: Angry Woman Edition

February 20th, 2015 at 5:05 pm by Mark
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We all know at least one of these…

Women be like, "Nope. I ain't mad."

All This Snow and Ice Needs One More Thing…

February 19th, 2015 at 5:26 pm by Mark
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Ya know, the weather. Outside, is… Frightful. The only thing. It needs… is… More cowbell…

Walken In A Winter Wonderland

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Are You Going to Work During the Ice Storm?

February 18th, 2015 at 5:09 pm by Mark
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You know it’s bad out when the local news does a story about a Pharmacy who’s still open despite the ice and snow…

Bosses Be Like... You are still coming to work right???

And, More Snow and Ice on the Way?

February 17th, 2015 at 5:02 pm by Mark
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My sentiments, exactly…

Cat in Snow: "Well, Shit!"

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A Valentine’s Day Poem

February 14th, 2015 at 9:37 pm by Mark
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Whether you’re single or not for Valentine’s Day, one thing is certainly true: There’s always the liquor store option.

Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue. Vodka is Cheaper Than Dinner for Two.