Author Archive for Mark

After rounding the world four times and getting the piercings, but only having three earrings to show for it because he's too picky about what he'll actually put back in his ear, Mark attempted to settle down back in his hometown of Knoxville, Tennessee. This, of course, did not happen because, quite apparently, he has been biologically implanted with a PsychoMagnetâ„¢ which makes even the most stable of people batshit crazy. Mark is currently "hiding" in wildly public places, and making as much noise as possible, while throngs of anonymous nutjobs accuse him of every salacious deed imaginable, such as the unseasonable rainfall of 2011, the murders of several prominent people who are still very much alive, and the 1915 sinking of the Lusitania. Mark is a carnivorous smoker who is Politically agnostic, unable to reproduce, refuses all manners of Internet dating, and generally believes that Murphy was an optimist.

Star Wars Cake Fail

July 15th, 2012 at 1:42 pm by Mark
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This is quite possibly one of the worst renditions of Jabba the Hutt found in the wild, given that this Wedding cake actually looks more like a pile of poo.

Friday the 13th

July 13th, 2012 at 5:19 pm by Mark
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While most of us dread Friday the 13th, Jason Voorhees dreads every other day…

Stock Photos

Type A Personalities

July 12th, 2012 at 5:36 pm by Mark
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The designation for Extreme Type A Personalities is CDO, because it’s more correct to alphabetize Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder’s acronym.

Apple: The Root of All Evil

July 11th, 2012 at 5:45 pm by Mark
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It’s always struck me as funny how Jobs could be such a shameless self-promoter, arrogant and a dirty business man using slave and child labour and intense work environments with such a high suicide rate, and somehow Gates took all the blame of having an “evil empire.” But then again, most of that rhetoric comes from people who are allergic to soap…

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Turning to Fantasy to Escape Reality

July 10th, 2012 at 5:42 pm by Mark
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Is it any wonder, when the news is always so dire?