Author Archive for Mark

After rounding the world four times and getting the piercings, but only having three earrings to show for it because he's too picky about what he'll actually put back in his ear, Mark attempted to settle down back in his hometown of Knoxville, Tennessee. This, of course, did not happen because, quite apparently, he has been biologically implanted with a PsychoMagnetâ„¢ which makes even the most stable of people batshit crazy. Mark is currently "hiding" in wildly public places, and making as much noise as possible, while throngs of anonymous nutjobs accuse him of every salacious deed imaginable, such as the unseasonable rainfall of 2011, the murders of several prominent people who are still very much alive, and the 1915 sinking of the Lusitania. Mark is a carnivorous smoker who is Politically agnostic, unable to reproduce, refuses all manners of Internet dating, and generally believes that Murphy was an optimist.

Sad News for Dad

June 29th, 2012 at 5:34 pm by Mark
Tags: , , , , ,

Sarcasm Win.

How to Get Stabbed

June 28th, 2012 at 5:47 pm by Mark
Tags: , , ,

I’m dumbfounded at people who goad and antagonize others to do things and are mystified when they actually do them. As if the person with the knife is gonna say, “No, I was just gonna make a you a sammich.”

responsive_wp_468x60

Toothbrush Sex?

June 27th, 2012 at 5:06 pm by Mark
Tags: , , , ,

Question: If they’re made by Proctor & Gamble, does it count as Oral Sex?

For kinkier positions, it’s also recommended to use lots and lots of toothpaste.

Clever Anti-Drug Abuse Campaign

June 26th, 2012 at 5:58 pm by Mark
Tags: , , ,

This message brought to you by Unicorns for a Drug Free America. If you’re looking for a reputable drug rehab center, checkout the link : 90 day rehab center.

Get $20 of bonus stock when you make a deposit on Stash!

Hate Being Bipolar?

June 25th, 2012 at 5:38 pm by Mark
Tags: , , ,

Some people love it so much, they hate you!