Author Archive for Mark

After rounding the world four times and getting the piercings, but only having three earrings to show for it because he's too picky about what he'll actually put back in his ear, Mark attempted to settle down back in his hometown of Knoxville, Tennessee. This, of course, did not happen because, quite apparently, he has been biologically implanted with a PsychoMagnetâ„¢ which makes even the most stable of people batshit crazy. Mark is currently "hiding" in wildly public places, and making as much noise as possible, while throngs of anonymous nutjobs accuse him of every salacious deed imaginable, such as the unseasonable rainfall of 2011, the murders of several prominent people who are still very much alive, and the 1915 sinking of the Lusitania. Mark is a carnivorous smoker who is Politically agnostic, unable to reproduce, refuses all manners of Internet dating, and generally believes that Murphy was an optimist.

Most Depressing Super Bowl Ads Ever

February 1st, 2015 at 10:48 pm by Mark
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Honestly, this year’s ads were not only lackluster, most of them were downright depressing. If it weren’t for Coca Cola, McDonald’s and Doritos lightening the mood, who knows what would have happened…

If Sarah McLachlan emptied a full clip at point blank range into a sick puppy it would be the most lighthearted superbowl ad so far.

Katy Perry’s WTF Half-Time Show

February 1st, 2015 at 8:42 pm by Mark
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I saw dancing, singing beach balls and got worried I was having a flashback… Kept expecting Sponge Bob to come out and offer everyone a crabby patty…

Jack O'Spades: "So who's going to be the genius that takes out ad time near the end of the game for antidepressants?" Mark: "I'm voting it'll be Budweiser."  Jack O'Spades: "budweiser depresses me..."  Mark: "So does Katy Perry's Outfit."

Stock Photos

Shocking Half-time Show: Look Who Showed Up!

February 1st, 2015 at 8:16 pm by Mark
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Sorry, guys. Justin Timberlake will not be making a special, guest appearance during the halftime show…

Sorry, Detroit, I was wrong. A Lion did make it to the superbowl...

Voter ID Is Not Racism

February 1st, 2015 at 1:38 pm by Mark
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As several states — North Carolina, in particular — are deciding whether asking for ID to vote is a “racism” concern, I offer this one piece of, “Kiss my ass!” If it was good enough Nelson Mandela, it’s good enough for you, too.

Mandela: "Get an ID. Register. Vote."

Robinhood: Free Stocks for your Referrals!

Entertaining Cheese?

January 31st, 2015 at 5:27 pm by Mark
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I stood there and watched it for a few minutes, and nothing happened… And decided to make an entirely different purchase.

Entertaining Cheese