Author Archive for Mark

After rounding the world four times and getting the piercings, but only having three earrings to show for it because he's too picky about what he'll actually put back in his ear, Mark attempted to settle down back in his hometown of Knoxville, Tennessee. This, of course, did not happen because, quite apparently, he has been biologically implanted with a PsychoMagnetâ„¢ which makes even the most stable of people batshit crazy. Mark is currently "hiding" in wildly public places, and making as much noise as possible, while throngs of anonymous nutjobs accuse him of every salacious deed imaginable, such as the unseasonable rainfall of 2011, the murders of several prominent people who are still very much alive, and the 1915 sinking of the Lusitania. Mark is a carnivorous smoker who is Politically agnostic, unable to reproduce, refuses all manners of Internet dating, and generally believes that Murphy was an optimist.

Mixing Themes: Star Wars & LOLcats

January 16th, 2014 at 7:39 pm by Mark
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I think I’m gonna have to agree with Grumpy Cat on this one…

Mewbacca & Grumpy Cat: "NO."

Mixing Themes: Star Wars & Rappers

January 16th, 2014 at 5:07 pm by Mark
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2pacca didn’t choose the fuzz life — the fuzz life chose him.

Fuzzlife: 2pacca

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It’s Good to Have Dreams & Ambitions

January 16th, 2014 at 3:20 pm by Mark
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When we were younger, we were told we could be anything we wanted to be.

I wanted to be an Astronaut: I ended up working on a NASA project in the 90’s. I wanted to be Indiana Jones: I ended up standing in the ruins of some of the oldest temples and cities in the world. I wanted to be rich: I’ve made a few fortunes, and they’re fleeting, but the experiences I’ve had and friends I’ve gained along the way have made me rich beyond belief.

One of my cousins? He wanted be a firetruck. Or a dinosaur. Tough luck, dude.

C3P0 with Iron Man Paint Job: "We All Have Dreams"

Come to the Meat Department?

January 16th, 2014 at 1:03 pm by Mark
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And there I thought some of the customers were creepy…

"What Will $5 Buy?  Shh... Come to the Meat Department & Let Me Show You!"  NOT SURE IF HUNGRY... OR JUST NERVOUS

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Business Naming Level: Expert

January 15th, 2014 at 5:04 pm by Mark
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I suppose this Tempe, Arizona’s original business name, Rural Animal Clinic P.C., just wasn’t catchy enough. Now, every time my dog needs a new timing chain, or my cat’s transmission keeps slipping in first, I’ll think of these guys.

I guess this is where you get your pet "fixed".... "Dog & Cat Repair"