Author Archive for Mark

After rounding the world four times and getting the piercings, but only having three earrings to show for it because he's too picky about what he'll actually put back in his ear, Mark attempted to settle down back in his hometown of Knoxville, Tennessee. This, of course, did not happen because, quite apparently, he has been biologically implanted with a PsychoMagnetâ„¢ which makes even the most stable of people batshit crazy. Mark is currently "hiding" in wildly public places, and making as much noise as possible, while throngs of anonymous nutjobs accuse him of every salacious deed imaginable, such as the unseasonable rainfall of 2011, the murders of several prominent people who are still very much alive, and the 1915 sinking of the Lusitania. Mark is a carnivorous smoker who is Politically agnostic, unable to reproduce, refuses all manners of Internet dating, and generally believes that Murphy was an optimist.

The Walking Dead’s New Badass: Morgan

March 29th, 2015 at 9:10 pm by Mark
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Unlike the group — and especially Carol — Morgan doesn’t need any guns!

The Walking Dead's Morgan: "How about I give you some of my big cup of 'nope!'?"

The Walking Dead Season 5 Finale

March 29th, 2015 at 5:17 pm by Mark
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Tonight, it’s the exciting conclusion of The Walking Dead’s fifth season. Is Rick Grimes batshit crazy? Will Peter the Porch Dick meet his untimely demise? Will Negan and the Wolves finally be revealed? Will Carl ever learn to stay in the damn house?

Rick & Coral.  Rick: "Coral, Did you hear about the tailor who became a zombie?"  Carl: "Dad, please stop"  Rick: "It was a fitting end, Coral!  A FITTING END!"

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Are Your Doors Alarmed?

March 23rd, 2015 at 5:28 pm by Mark
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It was a typical Monday. Forgot to grab my badge before going into work. The level eight door was highly agitated even at 8:30AM…

Level 3 Door: This Door is Alamed After 5pm.  (Note: "Before then, it's just generally anxious...")

McRodents – 10 Pounds for $1?

March 22nd, 2015 at 5:17 pm by Mark
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For the lysdexics in the audience, the sign below does *not* say that the mice are McFurry…

McDonald's Ice - MICE - 10 LB Bag $1.00.

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Disposable Filename Irony Explained

March 19th, 2015 at 5:40 pm by Mark
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How many times has it happened that you don’t feel the need to name something, and just bang on the keyboard a bit? The more often you do it, the more often it will become habit, until you’ll eventually bang on the keys in the exact same pattern…

Confirm Save As: biabaivjjbgojevnwoenvovnedcabeodfjgprlf.jpg already exists. Do you want to replace it? Yes  No  "Are you fucking kidding me?"