Author Archive for Mark

After rounding the world four times and getting the piercings, but only having three earrings to show for it because he's too picky about what he'll actually put back in his ear, Mark attempted to settle down back in his hometown of Knoxville, Tennessee. This, of course, did not happen because, quite apparently, he has been biologically implanted with a PsychoMagnetâ„¢ which makes even the most stable of people batshit crazy. Mark is currently "hiding" in wildly public places, and making as much noise as possible, while throngs of anonymous nutjobs accuse him of every salacious deed imaginable, such as the unseasonable rainfall of 2011, the murders of several prominent people who are still very much alive, and the 1915 sinking of the Lusitania. Mark is a carnivorous smoker who is Politically agnostic, unable to reproduce, refuses all manners of Internet dating, and generally believes that Murphy was an optimist.

Was That a Fail or a Snappy Comeback?

May 11th, 2013 at 5:06 pm by Mark
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Facebook constantly reminds me of what a fine line there is between Clever and Stupid…

Facebook User 1: "I see your garbage. :D <3"  "Facebook User 2: "You're *"  Not Sure if Fail Grammar Nazi or Clever Troll

How to Make Your WalMart Experience Enjoyable

May 10th, 2013 at 5:10 pm by Mark
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If it was poker, I’d see your pregnant-with-a-tramp-stamp and raise you a homeless-man-in-a-tartan-skirt-and-heels. Yes, the heels are tartan, too…

Walmart Bingo

Note: Hat tip to Anita, via the Pinternet.

Robinhood: Free Stocks for your Referrals!

Mac & Cheese?

May 9th, 2013 at 5:58 pm by Mark
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Interesting choice of Swiss Cheese, which provides as many holes as OS/X…

Mac & Cheese

Media Duh: “Man Killed to Death”

May 8th, 2013 at 5:26 pm by Mark
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The only thing worse than being killed to death is when I wake up dead. I hate when that happens!

Media: "Man Killed to Death."  Probably the worst way to die...

Get $20 of bonus stock when you make a deposit on Stash!

The Truth About Getting Old

May 7th, 2013 at 5:36 pm by Mark
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With each passing birthday, you realize how that no matter how fit you are, you’re getting older. Twenty-five years ago — or even five years ago — you were invincible. Now your hair is starting to disappear, but you can get a NYC hair transplant!

Karate Kid pose vs. Police: Not Recommended