I was slow.  I just found this… but apparently it’s made its way around the ‘net before…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=acsz0o2jtzg

     The potential for something to go wrong here is astoundingly high, and yet… It kinda… *shakes head* Looks like… Fun… Why, the only thing missing here is the requisite case of Miller Lite…

     BUT …

     Can you say Darwin Award, boys and girls?

     I knew you could…

With the whole Anna Nicole debacle of late, I find myself wondering why some people do the things that they do which in turn result in an untimely death of said person.

And with all of my deep thoughts of whys and hows, and with trying to come up with some super interesting reason, I’ve decided it’s simply a case of natural selection. Let’s take un momento to analyze how I have come to this conclusion.

Example 1 – The jack ass from Iraq who mailed a letter bomb, which was returned to him for insufficient postage.

 The bomb blew, he’s dead. Why? Natural selection. Somebody stupid enough to be mailing letter bombs in the first place should get blown up by some means. The fact that it was by his own bomb makes it epic.

Example 2- The rocket scientist who decided to ride a jet-ski off of Niagara Falls, hit the home-made rocket to shoot him over the past the falls, and get picked up upon landing.

 Duh. What kind of dork puts a plan like that into motion? I seriously wonder what the last thing he thought was…. “Oh shit, Batman, this ain’t gonna work!?!?!”

Hello, natural selection. Somebody stupid enough to go over Niagara Falls in the first place hasn’t go enough common sense to walk and chew at the same time… Natural selection.

Luckily, this guy didn’t have time to procreate any off-spring as he was too busy making dud rockets.

Example 3 – Although the number of car crashes with trains has decreased since 1976, approximately 500 people per year still try and outrun them.

In the not so distant past, most of the railroad crossings here in the United States didn’t have any kind of warning system in place to warn motorists that a train was coming. As if looking to your left and seeing that 118 tons (give or take) of steel, bolts, nuts, and steam barreling down the tracks isn’t enough to tell you a train is coming…

So, local governments nationwide began putting up railroad crossing signals. You know, you’ve seen them… the flashing red lights on either side of the road, the huge bar that drops down blocking an idiot motorist from getting to close to the tracks, the loud bells that scream “dang, dang, dang”… right. So, these precautions are in place for what reason?

Anybody?

They are in place for people who are too blind, or too careless to see that 118 tons of death on a track is coming right at them at possibly 50 MPH.

However, the epitome of stupidity is the motorist who is just so sure he/she can make it around that huge arm barrier to the other side of the track before that 118 tons of death on a track gets to them. Ooops, doesn’t work out quite so well every time. One occurrence in Silicone Valley, CA, shows us that regardless of all the bells and whistles in place, some people are just too ignorant to realize they can be smited from this Earth. Natural selection? I think so.
I suppose I would hate to do something really stupid that resulted in death. Seriously. If you don’t want to die of a deadly cocktail of drugs, hello… don’t do the cocktail of drugs.

If you don’t want to die by hitting the water/rocks at 100 MPH, don’t jump, rocket, jetski, boat, or swim over Niagara or any other falls.

If you don’t want to go down in your family history as the moron who tried to beat up the train, don’t try to out run the train…

Pretty simple, kids.

First, I have to say love is grand. Love is the greatest feeling in the world, especially if it is true love and the other person is the one you intend to spend your forever with. I will preach that day and night. I am indeed in love with the man I intend to spend forever with and I cherish him very much.

However, in a relationship (and my fiancee agrees) two people can still maintain relationships and friendships that were in place prior to the meeting of said significant other. Individual identity is what attracted you to that other person and that other person to you to begin with.

What is the point here? Well, the point is that just because I have found someone that I love, cherish and want to spend forever with, doesn’t mean I wish to cut the friends I had in my life before him out of it.
If nothing else, I wish for us to remain close. Yes, there will be less time out for me. No, I won’t attend every Wednesday night gathering. But IT IS NOT because my man doesn’t encourage it and IT IS NOT because I love my friends any less.

It is simply because I have a teenage daughter who really needs me to be home. It is because I sometimes get to steal a weekday with my fella and his kids.

Just because I’m not there all the time doesn’t mean that I don’t want to hear the stories about who did what, or in our case, see the photographic evidence.

Just because I’m not always there, doesn’t mean that I am turning my back on my friends. Just because I’m not always there doesn’t mean that any one of them can’t call me in the middle of the night to cry on my shoulder if they need to.

I am dedicated to spending my forever with HIM. I am very much in love. But my friends were the ones who cried with me when I was sad. They laughed with me when I was tickled about something. They are there through thick and thin. I love them and I will always want to hear the sappy dating drama (tales) and I won’t just be smiling a fake freaking smile and shaking my nappy freaking head acting like I care. I will be listening intently, most likely holding my gut from laughing so hard and truly caring about what words are passing from my friends’ mouth to my ears.

Ok, now specifically to you, the one who pretended to be our friends. Who the hell do you think you are? Seriously? Do you think you’re high, mighty and perfect?

These girls all befriended you when you had nothing but extra belly fat.
No, girl, see this one loud and clear…. YOU ARE NOTHING LIKE ANY OF US.

At least I’ve heard that’s what you said….

YOU ARE EXACTLY RIGHT!!!!!!

1. Friends don’t molest someone else’s man. There were plenty of occassions that you blatently stuck your tongue down the throat of a taken man. Granted, Ron was not mine… but the other man in question was a claimed man. You had no respect for boundaries and no respect for your girlfriends.

WHICH SHOWS YOU ARE NOTHING LIKE ANY OF US because there is not a single one of us who would look twice let alone deep throat one of the other girl’s boyfriend.

Just not kosher… not acceptable….

2. Friends don’t just quit talking to friends. If nothing else, when a happy event such as an impending wedding or pregnancy is on deck, I would think a girl would want her friends close by.

WHICH SHOWS YOU ARE NOTHING LIKE ANY OF US because I would be honored for all of my friends and family to be there when I say I do.

Either you didn’t want us getting close to your man because you know that paybacks are a bitch… or you were horrified that if you let him speak to us, that he would find out about your legendary exploits on the skank side.

Hmmmm….. go figure. Everybody pulls a drunk now and then… get over it. Hey, Dorothy…….