Posts Tagged with "kids"

Thou Shalt Not Use Foul Language

February 17th, 2013 at 5:12 pm by Mark
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It’s tough not cursing around the kids, but somehow, I’ve managed! If anyone, regardless of who it was, ever managed to let something slip out, the three-year-old would always chastise them with, “Ahh-aww! You said a word!” Of course, she also learned to lie that her brothers and sisters said something — when they didn’t — just so she could steal whatever they were playing with while they were busy being in trouble, but that’s another story…

The five-year-old proudly announced, ”I don’t have to go school on Monday because it’s President’s Day! Tomorrow is Monday!” Since he’s been in Kindergarten and we’ve already been through Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, Inauguration Day and Groundhog Day, and he understood what all of those were, I decided to ask him, ”And what happens on President’s Day?” His head cocked sideways as he thought about it for a moment. But suddenly, you could see the lightbulb go off in his head. He looked like he was about to explode!  Excitedly, he explained, ”That’s when the President comes outside, and if he sees his shadow, then we have four more years of Bullshit!” Ya know ... I really hated giving him that spanking... *shakes head*

Thou Shalt Not Steal

February 17th, 2013 at 12:58 pm by Michelle
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For some kids, teaching them about “stealing” can be even more difficult than potty-training.

Prayer: I asked God for a bike, but I knew God doesn't work that way.  So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

Stock Photos

She Can’t Be That Flexible…

February 13th, 2013 at 12:31 pm by Michelle
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Obviously, it’s not a clown car. Imagine that many trying to climb back in!

Vagina: It's not a clown car.

NFL Football: Teaching Our Kids about Erectile Dysfunction

January 19th, 2013 at 9:50 pm by Mark
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There’s just nothing like being asked, “Did they say erectile dysfunction? What are they talking about?” by a five-year-old. Thank you, NFL Football!

sooo my son has learned about a disease that only affects dinosaurs, apparently. He saw it on the television and it's called A reptile dysfunction. Doesn't understand the commercials at all but he's pretty sure that's what it is about

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Explaining Taxes to Children

November 7th, 2012 at 5:20 pm by Mark
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“Oh, you have a scrape on your knee? Well, under Obamacare, then you have to give me two ice creams a month for me to put a Band-Aid and some Neosporin on it. If you don’t have two ice creams, then we’re gonna make the store give them to you, and you have to give them to me for your Band-Aid.”