This was so abhorrent, I’ll just link to my Amazon Review:

First, I’ll put it succinctly:

WORST. TOILET PAPER. EVER.

Now, if you’re still reading, fine, I will expand that by saying, this totally usurps my previous “worst toilet paper ever!” review, which was Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight boxed set that I bought the woman I was happily married to for a short time. One star is too much for it! I’d give it NEGATIVE ONE BILLION STARS because it chaffed my ass worse than the John Wayne, “True Grit” toilet paper that I bought back in the 70’s.

For now, thanks to this product and the very stiffness of the paper, I have a multicolored hemorrhoid the size of large marble which requires hourly attention. From here on out, I ABSOLUTELY REFUSE to experiment with any additional forms of toilet paper EVER AGAIN!

That’s right — from here on out, I’m sticking with Cottonelle!

Well deserved, like the review of the video.

Hat Tip: The now very happily-married-and-raising-a-famly, Laura Lee. Congrats, girl!

I’ve never read this book, but the Amazon reviews are nothing short of fascinating.

Instructions too complicated, December 28, 2013
By Eric Post

Instructions too complicated. Got my dick caught in a ceiling fan. I would not recommend this book, except as firewood.

I truly hate it when any book causes me to get my manhood trapped in a ceiling fan.

Ever left your most prized, expensive mascara in the car overnight during the summer or winter? Similar effect…

Now available with the US — with some amazing satire, to boot. I won’t be purchasing them, of course, because I don’t want to be a unicorn (see link).