The first step in every 12-step program should be, “Put down the keyboard.”

I knew it was over when I saw a friend make the Facebook post, “Who gave Mr Manning hallucinogenics?? Poor thing looked like he didn’t recognize the football…”

One-hundred percent of Advertising paid for by Cheetos, Dominos Pizza and Pringles. Half time show by The Grateful Dead and Woody Harrelson. Nobody will remember what Woody played, but it will forever be described as, “Fuckin’ epic.” Media booths sacked by Golf Announcers. Streaking makes a comeback. Players never return to the field. Game called with only two quarters played, and the final score is Zero to Zero, because, “Everybody wins, man!”

The only thing worse than a sore loser is a ridiculously poor winner.

Given the news that Beyoncé’s publicist has asked Buzzfeed to pull down the “unflattering” photos from her half-time performance at this year’s Superbowl, you knew it’d only be a matter of time before we chimed in…