Ohio-born Jonathan Winters was a straight-up comic genius, a man of a thousand voices — including that of Papa Smurf in the 2011 movie. The news of his death today makes me wanna find old episodes of Mork & Mindy…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bDDXjZ2wLxw

Yes, I realize it’s been out a few months, given that I rarely see a television, this was new to me… And hilarious that it’s real.

     Necessity isn’t the only mother of invention.  Some inventions are just senselessly ridiculous.  A friend of mine started a short list…

how ’bout..waterproof Teabags..Silent Alarm Clocks…oh.,even better…Black Highlighter Pens

     Now, I’m thinking, sure, stuff like that would be bad to invent.  But I think there are plenty more actual inventions which have been worse.  Although, I have to admit, I’ve seen the black highlighter pens at the Dollar Tree…

     There have been numerous inventions for computers which were just a bad idea.  The USB-powered Hotplate, so you that you could cook a Hot Pocket using your PC, is right up there on the list.   If you’re too lazy  to get off your ass and go to the kitchen, then it’s seriously time to put down the friggin’ keyboard…
     Braille Buttons on the Drive-Through ATM are one of the stupidest things I’ve ever seen.  I mean, sure, if I couldn’t see, I’d certainly wanna be able to have access to my money.  But to put those on a drive-through ATM makes about as much sense as putting a safety switch on a Remote Control.  Oh, wait….
     Yeah, the Safety Switch on the Universal Remote control, so that your fat ass can’t accidentally change the channel, was a stupid invention.  That’s just brilliant right there.  I mean, as if, “Dont’ sit on the remote” wasn’t implied…
     Heads up displays in cars, where instrument readings like Speed, Temperature and RPM’s — and possibly even GPS data for directions — are displayed on the windshield instead of the dash are kind of a cool idea.  Some asshat turning his windshield into a Computer Monitor, on the other hand, is pretty stupid, especially when combining it with a TV Tuner and a Windows Media Center, as advertised.  People can’t do two things at once any more, and it’s bad enough they can’t talk on the phone and drive.  The last way I wanna end up getting hit at 80 mph on the Interstate is because some asshat just can’t wait five minutes to check their e-mail and catch up on last night’s exciting episode of Lost.
     The TV show Lost was, of course, another dumb invention.  The show has absolutely no purpose except to spin a bunch of inane crap into a non-existent puzzle that will make Tinfoil Hat people live to see the next episode and figure out if their bullshit theory is correct.  And it never is.  These people need to get a life.  Or a Safety for their remote so that some evil bastard like myself could set it so that they can’t easily watch whatever damn channel Lost comes on …

     But seriously.  The worst invention ever … Was scented, flavored tampons.

     Whatever sicko thought that was a good idea I’ll never know.  But let me tell you, it is because of that person I will never buy one certain brand of boots or watch Detroit’s favorite hockey team…