Bullcaca for Bullcaca’s Sake

January 11th, 2007 at 1:49 am by Mark
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     A few months ago, I went out with a couple of friends (Gina and Joe) and had a fun time.  In trying to make sure Joe was okay to drive (he ran from the car) I inadvertently dropped my phone in her backseat.
     Long story short, one of her workmates, Paula, volunteered to bring me the phone, and I agreed.  She didn’t bring it to me, however.  Instead, she threw it out her window in Halls, TN (where I definitely do not live) and ignored all attempts at contact.
     Fortunately, an older gentleman named Wade ended up with the phone (picked up from a ditch and put it in his mailbox by his postwoman, he said).  He called me, from my phone, and arranged to get the phone back to me.  Thank God for honest people in the world.
     Last night, a friend of mine called Paula and let her have it.  In turn, Gina calls me to scream at me so much I have to walk outside from where I was to hear her.  She calls me a liar, tells me that I had fabricated the entire story and that she’s told my friends, they believe her, and blah blah blah blah whiney, idiotic garbage.

     This is overly dramatic for me, and whole lot of them can screw off.

 

     Another asshat has been hanging around telling people he’s a race car driver, with millions of dollars, million dollar contracts, and he’s gonna start paying three of us at the first of January.
     He told me that he lived in a 4000 sq ft house and wanted me to secure it and run Ethernet around it.  Told me had a four bay garage where he keeps his race cars, and one of the bay doors is torn off because he and a friend came home drunk and couldn’t get it open to park the truck — so they rammed it. 
     He told me that he has a private jet, and has invited us all out on several occasions, but never follows through.
     He’s told us all that he owns Tennessee Racing, Inc.
     He’s an IMCA driver and points leader.
     He’s on Team ARCA.
     He’s a NASCAR driver.
     He was in Daytona this weekend with Teresa and Dale Earnhardt, Jr.

     Needless to say, he hasn’t paid any of us a cent.  “My racing license was revoked, and I’m trying to get it back.”  Of course, he’s already told me that one, and that he did get it back.  “Yeah, but I went this weekend and got it back.”  Of course, he’d already told me that they’d reinstated him the week before.  But that’s also been mixed with, “I might be going to jail,” “All my assetts are frozen by the court,” and “I have to go to Europe to hide from some very bad people.”  Of course, those things have changed, too.  “The judge let me off even though she hates me,”  “I have more money than the courts know about,” and “I said I was gonna to Europe to hide after I hurt the guy who was molesting my daughter.”  But no, he didn’t.  He’s talked himself into both a corner and poverty.
     About the house:  “Oh, well, I haven’t bought it yet.  I was looking at four, but they were out of my price range.  I only have $750K and need $1.2M.”  I can’t help but wonder why he’d crash the garage doors on a house he doesn’t own, then?  He lives in a crappy apartment in South Knoxville.
     Why doesn’t his pilot file flight plans?  “I didn’t know they were supposed to.”  Yeah, that pilot stuff might elude him, especially since he claims to have had a pilot’s license.
     Tennessee Racing, Inc. doesn’t exist?  “Yeah, I registered that in Iowa.”  No, not there either..
     He’s not on the IMCA list.
     Team ARCA’s never heard of him.
     NASCAR certainly hasn’t ever heard of him.
     Teresa and Dale Jr. have had a parting of ways and certainly haven’t sat down to dinner together, much less together with anyone else.  And since Dale Jr. has been busy with the Nextel Cup and giving press releases about the future of DEI & his younger brother, Kerry, it’s pretty much an impossibility that our dear-old-bullshitter had dinner with just him, even.

     “Well, maybe I should just not come around if it’s gonna be like that!”
     “Good idea.  BYE!”

     Besides, I doubt Dale Jr. would take time out of his busy schedule to have dinner with a door-to-door vacuum cleaner salesman.

 

     I declare this a Drama Free Zone.

     Take it outside — we don’t need that crap in here.


7 Responses to “Bullcaca for Bullcaca’s Sake”

  1. STEPHANIE HUMPHREYS Says:

    Well done Mark, maybe the son-of-a-bitch will stay away and I won’t have to look at his pathetic scowling…that ladies and gentlemen, is the reason we are and will forever be “his” pirates..

  2. Becky Ford Says:

    LOL….good one Mark! Seems that no matter where you go these days there’s drama all around! I, like you, am so totally over all the damn drama it’s not even funny. Whatever happened to just hanging out, having fun, and lettin’ the good times roll? Why do people have to lie or try and be something they aren’t….just be whoever the fuck you are and quit trying to impress everyone or get everyone’s attention all the damn time. I never liked the guy to begin with and I never even talked to him….guess that’s why I always go with my gut instinct. Ok, I guess I’ve vented enough now too….it would just be nice if everyone would leave the drama llama at home! LOL

  3. Susan Says:

    LOL… you mean he isn’t gonna pay me an outlandish amount of money to photograph him? LOL… starting the 10th of next month? Ooo well…. I don’t think he thought I would be up and running by then…. I will be.

  4. STEPHANIE HUMPHREYS Says:

    YA KNOW…I SENT HIM THIS MEASSAGE….
    ya know randy…we’re very accepting people. you don’t have to be a big shot to be our friend..all we wanted was the truth and when mark confronted you…you still couldn’t tell the truth. we know facts…we’ve been checking them for a while now…we know that the race car on your profile isn’t yours but another driver, we can find no record of you driving at all…even in iowa…and you talk of all this money…no way can the law freeze your assets…unless your assets are involved in the crime…remember, i’m studying to be a lawyer. all you had to do was be truthful…many people believed you and counted on your job offers…all you had to do is be truthful….sad

    AND THIS WAS HIS RESPONSE….

    Well lets see. The name you probly came up with for the driver of the car is White. He was the driver for before I bought the team from Rick that is from Nashville. And White has drove for me a few times in a back up car. And as far a not even finding anythink for me as a driver in Iowa. I raced on several tracks thier but havent been to a single one of them seens 2004 to race. For the job part they would have thier job if They let me have my racing License but hard to give them a job with out a racing license for that is how I make my money. Dont need a anyone working for me if I cant race for what good does that do for me. And for the Money frooze I have had it unfrooze for a while know thanks to some really good lawyers like I am sure you will be some day. If you guys and ladys were questioning it all you had to do was ask me stuff and I could have gave you pic’s, Letters, point’s sheet’s and about anything else you wanted to prove I am how I am but you dont ask and go behind my back to check me out. Dont make me fell much like a friend from the get go if you got to check some one out. Maybe if the work I have been doing lately pays off so I can race again then you might see that it was all on the up and up. I dont need to lie to get friends for have alot of them but hey if you dont want to be friends then that is fine. I had fun with all of you and you are all a great group of people. I might say hi when I am at Joes and if I dont you guys and gals probly wont care anyways right. Been nice being your friend. Sorry it didnt work out for any of use to stay friends. See you around and might see you at Joes some time. Bye.

    SAD….THE FUCKER STILL CAN’T TELL THE TRUTH…

  5. Mark Says:

    Really hilarious. I mean, he just told me Wednesday, when I started laying it all on him, that his assetts are still frozen.

    As for why we felt a need to check — don’t start offering to give us a paycheck and expect us not to check it out.  That’s just smart business.

    But, hey … At least now I know what he was arrested for. *snicker*

  6. Casey Says:

    Hi whats up? Just out of curiousity how do ya’ll know [Asshat’s name removed]?

    Cause he’s been coming in the bar I work at a lot lately and telling these same stories plus some other really good ones too!

    We all think he’s full of shit. I ran across your page when trying to find his suppossed racing team.

    Email me back what you know about him I might even tell you some of the good stories he’s been telling me and my friends at the bar.

  7. Mark Says:

    Well, I removed his name from your comment, but you pegged it exactly. That’s the guy. He needs to come up with better lines, apparently — or, at least, change the names, or something, because he could at least say, “Oh, well, the paperwork is filed — it’s just not on the site yet.”

    What a dumbass. Pretty much what I know about him is here … What I didn’t mention is that he was looking for a staff Tech Officer at $70K, Admin assistant/organizer at $55K, and Team Photographer at $45-$55K.

    Yeah, we had jobs from this asshat — which is a major reason why I started checking his dumb ass out. I would do the same investigation for *any* company that made me an offer, because I’m not gonna sell off a business that’s making me a living based on the word of a bullshitter in a North Knoxville biker bar…

    I wasn’t born yesterday.

    And neither was his WIFE…