Ain’t a Cake, A Cake?

August 24th, 2007 at 4:44 pm by Diva
Tags: , , , ,

So, this wedding hasn’t exactly went off without a hitch… If I don’t end up in a padded room by the end of this thing it will be a miracle..

Leave us recap all of the issues, shall we?

**I mean, the date has been changed from July 14th to June 2nd and now (officially) September 29th.

**My stepbrother (the preacherman) was who was supposed to officiate the ceremony, ceremoniously backed out on me without letting me know.

**My chinese torture underwear has been returned for the proper size, yet the company has yet to send the replacement (the bastards).

**I am now going to have to reschedule AGAIN with the dress alteration lady.

GAAAA!!!! Then there is the issue with the cake.

Now call me simple-minded. But ain’t cake, cake? Nothing more, nothing less?
At least that is what I thought when I started all this.

My original cake lady gave me the schpeel about how her cakes cost from $2 – $2.50 per serving. Now, I’m thinkin, if all of these folks that have been invited to this here illustrious event show, I’m gonna end up shellin out around $450 for a cake.

Cake, kids. Flour, eggs, oil, frosting. A cake. She cuts me a deal, and agrees on $230.00 set up and all.

Well, when the wedding got cancelled twice, I ended up losing the original cake lady. Which I was really bummed about, because although it was ass expensive, she was talented enough to make me the cake I wanted:
Cake 1

But alas, Elaine is looney and completely booked from now until Jesus comes back.

So, Olga (my boss) comes in this past Monday morning and says “Dude, you know when one door closes, another one opens.” She had found someone, quite by accident, that does cakes. Yay!

Or so I thought. So, the lady calls me. We discuss the cake and how many I need to feed with this cake and so on… She goes on to tell me that she doesn’t do that pricing by the piece stuff. I was thinking, “are you for real? You rock cake chick!”.

So, she says give her a day or so to work on pricing and she’d get back to me. Well, today was the day. The phone range this morning and I was thrilled to be hearing back from her so promptly.

She says she can do the cake (mind you, I downsized from the original cake, so it was smaller). And she’ll do the cake for a measley $550.00.

Sweet Holy Jesus, I almost fell over. Since I was at the office and unable to pass out right that second, I settled for my jaw dropping so far it hit my desk.

I thanked her kindly for her call, and told her I had to get in touch with my Mama since she is the one paying for it. We’ve decided to forego the half thousand dollar delight and put the blame on my Mom. She’ll never know.

Anyway, off to Food City I go, as in a previous grocery foraging expedition, I noted in the back of my mind, that they have cakes for all occassions.

Seriously, who give two shakes of pig poo if the things tastes like sweet cardboard. It’s still cake. Like anybody will eat it anyway.
Well, anybody other than my paternal grandfather would would eat the leather off of a shoe if it had icing on it.

They are going to prepare me a cake, that althought it ain’t nearly what I wanted to begin with, will do. Especially for the $$.

For a mere $160 plus tax, we are getting a mighty fine work of edible art.
Cake 2

But still, I beg of you this answer… Ain’t a cake, a cake?

I could just as easily go to Sam’s and get a mac sized cake for $21.99. And they’ll even airbrush Spiderman on it if I want. =)
Cake 3

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6 Responses to “Ain’t a Cake, A Cake?”

  1. Cathy Says:

    Sam’s doesn’t taste terrible. Nobody will care if you serve a pile of twinkies. Need more cake choices? Did you call Rita’s or Coning? Les Jones’ (local blogger) wife makes cakes, too.

  2. Mushy Says:

    Now you see why Vegas does such a terrific business in drive-through weddings! You could be at the tables by now.

  3. Fathairybastard Says:

    I used to be a midnight shift security guard at a country club in Ft. Worth, back when I was in Grad school, and they’d have these huge weddings for the rich folks who were members. I’d get there just as it was ending, and they’d have the plastic layers for the cake stacked in the kitchen. They would have taken the cake, but there’d always be a line of cheesecake icing along the edge of the rings. I’d just take two fingers and swipe myself off a daub of that stuff, and be in ecstasy. Wonderful. Loved that job.

  4. Diva Says:

    Cathy: When I lost my original cake lady, I gave up. My mommy has me on a budget and it seems that specialty cake artists are way out of my league. I may drop Les a line and see what can be done, otherwise I’m seriously considering spidey 🙂

    Mushy: Vegas sounds like a dream. Free cold beer before, walk in, get married by Elvis, at the karaoke bar by 11. Why the hell didn’t you tip me off sooner!!! =)

    Fathairybastard: Can’t beat that nasty thick, yet sinful icing! Damn near better than sex… well, maybe not that good, but pretty close 😀

  5. Mark Says:

    [*Looks at the hottie beside me, asleep on the couch as I work … She stirs a little as I stare: a blissful grin crosses her face, followed by a contented sigh*]

    No, no way. No icing beats that. There is no comparison. 😉

  6. Diva Says:

    I’m glad your sex life is back in order.