Banishing Buddy

August 13th, 2009 at 11:27 pm by Mark
Tags: , , ,

     During the course of a conversation, a customer complained of a capricious canine.  The malcontented mutt, so known as Buddy, was the property of a pestiferous old prune next door.  He’d decided it was his duty to guard their front door and growl aggressively every time they tried to go into their own garage.

     When I arrived at the premises, I was immediately pounced upon by the pesky pooch, which resulted in my kicking the bastard under the jaw.  He didn’t seem to like it very much, but buggered off, regardless.

     Their own two dogs had been terrorized by the territorial tail-wagger, a detail that became clear today.  The pups watched intently as I banished the bitchy ol’ bastard with a few blasts from a BB Gun.  They immediately began a gleeful, circle-running trip — yes, they were overjoyed!

     Maybe you had to be there … But it’s funny to me that the neighbor’s annoying dog can understand the meaning of, “Fuck off!”  He didn’t ask questions, didn’t make promises, didn’t try and defend himself.  He just fucked off. 😉

Note: Thanks, Sam, for reminding me to alliterate more…

Stock Photos

13 Responses to “Banishing Buddy”

  1. southernspeak4-t/Chrys Says:

    Exactly where is that line between alliteration and tongue-twister? lol

    Perplexing – perhaps the pesky pooch did not possess such a predilection for pretentious platitudes and pedantic proselytizing.

    If the pompous pest was no longer presented with public plaudit when pontificating such poo-poo, the provacateur would be predisposed to plug its piehole.

    So basically, what you’re saying is, the solution to all our problems is a good BB gun?;)

  2. southernspeak4-t/Chrys Says:

    Now see what I get for fuckin’ around with the comments? I tripled it, lol.

    Can we blame Tourette’s? Higher-functioning autism?

  3. FUCKOFF Says:

    Why kick something? Just break its fingers so it can no longer type.

  4. southernspeak4-t/Chrys Says:

    One more comment left with violent content in it and your IP address will be traced and you WILL be prosecuted.

    It will be very difficult for you to write on your blogs about what a victim you are at that point – capiche?

  5. Capiche Says:

    I’m so scared I just shit myself and wrote your name on toilet paper with my ass.

  6. southernspeak4-t/Chrys Says:

    Mark, you got her?

    Ready when you are 🙂

  7. southernspeak4-t/Chrys Says:

    Tin Foil Hat: Per your last comment.

    You should be. 🙂

  8. Zacque Says:

    Chrys- It can’t be Tourette’s Syndrome… It’s much more like having a creative vowel movement. Kind of like the township of Oconomowoc, Wisconsin, which is just west of Milwaukee, in the county of Waukasha.

  9. southernspeak4-t/Chrys Says:

    Hahaha – the Native-American translation of which is “I see white people – lots and lots of white people.”

    Well, I was going to blame my triple-publishing the same comment on my technical retardicity, but we’ll go with “creative vowel movement.”

  10. southernspeak4t/Chrys Says:

    Thank you, Mark, for allowing me to rant and have a voice about it all for a time here:)

    You have enough on your plate to worry about without this bullshit that follows me around anyway, lol.

    I’ve taken down all the posts and we know why – so let them speculate and gossip and come up with their own version- that’s all they have to do;)

    Hugs to y’uns;)

  11. southernspeak4t/Chrys Says:

    Seriously – am I on some sort of internet “Candid Camera” or something. This CAN’T be for real, lol.

    So…while on the way out from blogging, I leave comments asking James if what I was told back in April was true (that he wanted me to leave his blog, that my thank you comment embarrassed him) and apologized if that were the case…

    I leave it publically to avoid the under-blog “he said/she said,” which we both have seen happen…

    …suddenly this morning, I’m accused of being a net troll commenting on behalf of Crushed’s that’s going to hijack his blog?


    Despite the fact that I came down pretty hard on Crushed on his blog for blaming all of his problems on women.

    Dude, I fucking give up, this is insane.

    As you know, I scrambled the old blog and can’t get back – didn’t know if you noticed that I created a temp one in the link above if you have any questions after I’m gone as to what happened.

    I always keep copies of comments these days, just in case;)

  12. Asshat Says:

    Wow. Dude. It looks like someone has hijacked this comment section too.

    How many blogs have been erased now to cover up harassment?

    Here are only a few, but who is counting?

    Wow , it is a good thing I know a computer programmer who knows how to bring back all of that evidence which keeps getting erased.

    *Winks to people at Google*

  13. southernspeak4-t/Chrys Says:

    So I got a second job, started yesterday – just returned home a few minutes ago as we were slow.

    I’m serving at a restaurant where there’s no internet access for employees and a timeclock that records time in and out, with supervisor approval.

    As you know, I also don’t have internet access from my phone.

    I thought this worth mentioning here publically, considering the false accusations taking place elsewhere again.:)