This Crappy Kiffen Controversey

January 14th, 2010 at 5:01 pm by Mark
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     In the wake of all this Lane Kiffin controversy, where the former UT Vols coach is skipping out to head USC, I’ve had very little to say but one thing…
     “Lane Kiffin?  Oh, sorry!  I didn’t even realize UT had a coach.”

     Only three people laughed. The rest tried to explain, “Oh, yeah, you don’t care about football, huh?  Well, Lane Kiffin was…”
     Yes, the rock I’ve been living under was impenetrable.  These explanations only stand as more proof that people just don’t get sacrilege.  Err, I mean, sarcasm.

     It seems that UT Vols Basketball Coach Bruce Pearl may be hardest hit by the news that Lane Kiffin is leaving, given his statement last year regarding how well he got along with the Football Coach:

I’m trying to date his wife. But that’s not working out too good.

     Two thousand, one hundred eighty-eight miles does tend to add an additional layer of complexity to his covetous courting.

     Perhaps unsurprisingly, as if she’s been being whisked off to another country never to be seen or heard from again, literally thousands of Tennesseeans are searching Google and other search engines for photos of Layla Kiffin nude.  As if there are any naked pics of Layla Kiffin lying thoughtlessly around the Internet…
     Numerous bloggers have lamented Kiffin’s decision to leave based on their lust for Layla’s sweater kittens, however few have managed to convey their emotions so succinctly as Sports Pickle.  

     Personally, I find it interesting they should reference both breasts and Governor Bredesen in the same paragraph… again… But I digress…

     Perhaps it’s just me, but rather than “HOT,” I prefer to think of her as ‘decorative,’ as in, “may look nice loosely draped over a couch, where the color of her hair might possibly match the otherwise sparse decor.”  Not that I particularly give a damn about interior design, or even own a couch, but the whole Barbie Doll thing has never done much for me.  I generally prefer womens’ brains to be equally as large as their breasts.
     I mean … perhaps it’s a bit prejudicial, but she doesn’t exactly scream, “Rocket Surgeon,” to me.

     But as for looking at photos of hot women with large breasts, I have my own stash to look at, taken with my own damn camera from 2007 and 2008… God… I miss those… err, I mean, her, back then she used to have the best breast augmentation and other surgeries to have a fit body and feel good with herself. 

Note: Barbie is a Registered Trademark of Mattel Toys, God forbid they try and sue me, too.

Note: The term “Rocket Surgeon” is based loosely on the statement, “It’s not rocket surgery!” delivered several years ago by the bartender formerly known as Antoinette, now made famous by the captioned photograph hanging in Knoxville’s Preservation Pub.


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One Response to “This Crappy Kiffen Controversey”

  1. Britta Vogel Says:

    I’m glad at least one man doesn’t like the trampy “I was a Baywatch extra!” look with the furrowed brow, puppy dog eyes, and pouty lower lip. Every time a woman says anything about her people say we’re just jealous. 🙁