A drunken New Zealander came home after a binge carrying a sheep under his arm. He walked into the bedroom where his wife stared at him from the bed. “Sweetheart, this is the pig I’ve been sleeping with every night,” he announced.

Staring at him disgust, the wife yelled, “That’s a sheep, not a pig, you drunken fool!”

“I was talking to the sheep,” he replied dryly.