For the lysdexics in the audience, the sign below does *not* say that the mice are McFurry…

Right, because nobody ever has the same schedule through the week. To make matters worse, UPS will leave a yellow sticker on your door telling you to come to their pick-up counter, which is only open from 1PM-4PM, Monday through Friday.

A cat walks into a bar.

“I’m depressed. Give me a shot of rum,” he demands of the bartender.

The bartender pours him a shot, and the cat slowly pushes it off the bar.

“Pour me another…”

How many times has it happened that you don’t feel the need to name something, and just bang on the keyboard a bit? The more often you do it, the more often it will become habit, until you’ll eventually bang on the keys in the exact same pattern…

Remember that one about the evil shoes a few days ago? The Stallone treatment might not be a precursor to aching feet, too…