After rounding the world four times and getting the piercings, but only having three earrings to show for it because he's too picky about what he'll actually put back in his ear, Mark attempted to settle down back in his hometown of Knoxville, Tennessee. This, of course, did not happen because, quite apparently, he has been biologically implanted with a PsychoMagnetâ„¢ which makes even the most stable of people batshit crazy.
Mark is currently "hiding" in wildly public places, and making as much noise as possible, while throngs of anonymous nutjobs accuse him of every salacious deed imaginable, such as the unseasonable rainfall of 2011, the murders of several prominent people who are still very much alive, and the 1915 sinking of the Lusitania. Mark is a carnivorous smoker who is Politically agnostic, unable to reproduce, refuses all manners of Internet dating, and generally believes that Murphy was an optimist.
January 18th, 2013 at 5:05 pm by Mark
Tags: cats, conspiracy-theory, lolcats, tinfoil hats
Is it just me, or does this Cat somehow resemble Eva Braun?

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January 17th, 2013 at 7:59 pm by Mark
Tags: cooking, crying, food, pain
Could have pulled a Gallagher and crushed him with a watermelon…

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January 16th, 2013 at 9:50 pm by Mark
Tags: babies, parenting, pregnancy, sarcasm
Mom apparently has more than enough grandkids…

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January 15th, 2013 at 5:04 pm by Mark
Tags: cursing, english, f-word, language, swearing
Many people object to swearing, claiming that it’s “common” and underscores a person’s lack of vocabulary. On the contrary, I find it profoundly useful for everything from accentuating urgency to emphasizing disbelief, or even futility.
The most prevalent use of “curse words” is in those instances where they posses the fundamental ability to transform an otherwise banal string of words (followed by an exclamation point) into a more honest and heartfelt interjection. In the following example, for instance, the subsequent revision shows us exactly how badly the subject was hurt, as well as giving the reader an emotional attachment to ‘Skip.’
Example Text:
“Ouch!” bellowed Skip.
Revised Text:
“Motherf#@$er!” Skip bellowed. “That f#@$ing hurt like a son-of-a-bitch! What the f#@$, man?!”
As for those who constantly express hateful intolerance to other adults who swear, or condescend them for their usage of this particular category of language, I will only vociferate, “Grow the f#@$ up, or f#@$ off!”

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January 14th, 2013 at 7:54 pm by Mark
Tags: 4chan, mars, nasa, sarcasm, space, water
Looks like 4chan beats NASA … Again …

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