Author Archive for Mark

After rounding the world four times and getting the piercings, but only having three earrings to show for it because he's too picky about what he'll actually put back in his ear, Mark attempted to settle down back in his hometown of Knoxville, Tennessee. This, of course, did not happen because, quite apparently, he has been biologically implanted with a PsychoMagnetâ„¢ which makes even the most stable of people batshit crazy. Mark is currently "hiding" in wildly public places, and making as much noise as possible, while throngs of anonymous nutjobs accuse him of every salacious deed imaginable, such as the unseasonable rainfall of 2011, the murders of several prominent people who are still very much alive, and the 1915 sinking of the Lusitania. Mark is a carnivorous smoker who is Politically agnostic, unable to reproduce, refuses all manners of Internet dating, and generally believes that Murphy was an optimist.

Weed – The Other Side of the Story

July 9th, 2012 at 5:10 pm by Mark
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We won’t even go into the fact that red eyes and cottonmouth are usually the first side of anaphylactic shock (allergy!), right?

If Facebook Was Honest…

July 7th, 2012 at 5:36 pm by Mark
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’nuff said.

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Peeing in Public

July 6th, 2012 at 5:29 pm by Mark
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Suddenly, Tommy realized taking a pee in his neighbor’s front yard wasn’t such a good idea…

Proposal for a New Tim Burton Movie

July 5th, 2012 at 5:09 pm by Mark
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This sounds like a great idea for Tim Burton

Stock Photos

Happy 236th Birthday, USA!

July 4th, 2012 at 5:39 pm by Mark
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Even Wal-Mart got in on the act. Of course, the flag has only 11 stripes instead of the usual thirteen… Damn Chinese knock-offs…

Now it’s just a few hours before we celebrate the birth of our nation by going outside and shooting off another incredible Chinese invention: FIREWORKS!