After rounding the world four times and getting the piercings, but only having three earrings to show for it because he's too picky about what he'll actually put back in his ear, Mark attempted to settle down back in his hometown of Knoxville, Tennessee. This, of course, did not happen because, quite apparently, he has been biologically implanted with a PsychoMagnetâ„¢ which makes even the most stable of people batshit crazy.
Mark is currently "hiding" in wildly public places, and making as much noise as possible, while throngs of anonymous nutjobs accuse him of every salacious deed imaginable, such as the unseasonable rainfall of 2011, the murders of several prominent people who are still very much alive, and the 1915 sinking of the Lusitania. Mark is a carnivorous smoker who is Politically agnostic, unable to reproduce, refuses all manners of Internet dating, and generally believes that Murphy was an optimist.
June 19th, 2012 at 5:29 pm by Mark
Tags: gay, harry-potter, innuendo, malfoy
That’s right. He’s not just a coat hanger any more.

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June 18th, 2012 at 5:55 pm by Mark
Tags: burger king, cheating, innuendo, responsibility, sex
It’s amazing the excuses people come up with as to why they have affairs, but this one takes the cake.
She seduced him with fries. So he gave her the Whopper.

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June 17th, 2012 at 5:13 pm by Mark
Tags: church, funny signs, humor, innuendo
That’s what she said…

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June 16th, 2012 at 5:38 pm by Mark
Tags: growing up, marriage, respect, sarcasm, weddings
I grew up hearing, “Be respectable!” while all the girls heard, “Don’t act trashy!” These days, half the guys don’t respect anything, and “trashy” is a requirement for half the women. We might actually see the day when the divorce rate is higher than the marriage rate!

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June 15th, 2012 at 5:22 pm by Mark
Tags: breakup, deployment, humor, troops, war
Other times, the situation can be avoided entirely…

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