Author Archive for Mark

After rounding the world four times and getting the piercings, but only having three earrings to show for it because he's too picky about what he'll actually put back in his ear, Mark attempted to settle down back in his hometown of Knoxville, Tennessee. This, of course, did not happen because, quite apparently, he has been biologically implanted with a PsychoMagnetâ„¢ which makes even the most stable of people batshit crazy. Mark is currently "hiding" in wildly public places, and making as much noise as possible, while throngs of anonymous nutjobs accuse him of every salacious deed imaginable, such as the unseasonable rainfall of 2011, the murders of several prominent people who are still very much alive, and the 1915 sinking of the Lusitania. Mark is a carnivorous smoker who is Politically agnostic, unable to reproduce, refuses all manners of Internet dating, and generally believes that Murphy was an optimist.

Government Intervention in Small Business

May 24th, 2012 at 5:52 pm by Mark
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Our Federal Government, despite claiming to care, doesn’t mind making sweeping changes and regulations which are destroying small businesses in this country.

But officers, I'm not selling sex. I'm selling condoms with a free demonstration

Black Ice Cream?

May 22nd, 2012 at 5:09 pm by Mark
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It’s odd to have lived long enough to see teenaged girls screaming profanities and slurs while fighting in the hallways, and teenaged boys being emotionally needy and crying at the drop of a hat.

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Thievery Fail

May 21st, 2012 at 5:46 pm by Mark
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For most thieves, the only sin is stupidity.

Happy About Panties

May 20th, 2012 at 5:47 pm by Mark
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At times, in-store advertising is just … creepy.

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Darwinism in Action

May 19th, 2012 at 5:16 pm by Mark
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Unlike many who might get a Darwin Award, this guys last words weren’t, “Hey, hold my beer…”