Author Archive for Mark

After rounding the world four times and getting the piercings, but only having three earrings to show for it because he's too picky about what he'll actually put back in his ear, Mark attempted to settle down back in his hometown of Knoxville, Tennessee. This, of course, did not happen because, quite apparently, he has been biologically implanted with a PsychoMagnetâ„¢ which makes even the most stable of people batshit crazy. Mark is currently "hiding" in wildly public places, and making as much noise as possible, while throngs of anonymous nutjobs accuse him of every salacious deed imaginable, such as the unseasonable rainfall of 2011, the murders of several prominent people who are still very much alive, and the 1915 sinking of the Lusitania. Mark is a carnivorous smoker who is Politically agnostic, unable to reproduce, refuses all manners of Internet dating, and generally believes that Murphy was an optimist.

Sometimes, There’s Nothing Like the Original

February 6th, 2015 at 5:48 pm by Mark
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As opposed to the “New” Dill Wholes, Seth Rogen and James Franco…

Vlasic: Original Dill Wholes.  Beavis & Butt-Head: WHOAH!

Ironic Name for a Doctor…

February 5th, 2015 at 5:55 pm by Mark
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I wonder how many people have walked in and said, “Can’t you see I’m burning, burning?”

Dr. Docktor

Robinhood: Free Stocks for your Referrals!

Pete Carroll’s Super Bowl Mistake Not Soon Forgotten

February 4th, 2015 at 5:53 pm by Mark
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After a completely nonsensical decision to have Seahawks quarterback Russell Wilson pass at the three yard line — giving the Patriots an interception and costing the Seahawks a Super Bowl victory — comedians are getting a lot of run out of coach Pete Carroll. More of a run, in fact, than Marshawn Lynch got out of coach Pete Carroll…

Should I Hand This To You, or Step Back 5 Yards and Throw It for No Reason?

Yoda’s Troubling Past

February 3rd, 2015 at 5:10 pm by Mark
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After Anakin killed and entire village of sand people, Yoda admitted to Obi Wan that even he had some not-so-proud moments in his youth…

Gremlin in Drag vs. Yoda: "Young I was. Needed the Money I Did."

Robinhood: Free Stocks for your Referrals!

PSA: Peanuts do, in Fact, Contain Peanuts

February 2nd, 2015 at 5:17 pm by Mark
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It is a sad truth that you and I both know someone who will not even realize this simple fact.

"This product contains peanuts."  Pie Chart: Things I see (100%) What you did there.