After rounding the world four times and getting the piercings, but only having three earrings to show for it because he's too picky about what he'll actually put back in his ear, Mark attempted to settle down back in his hometown of Knoxville, Tennessee. This, of course, did not happen because, quite apparently, he has been biologically implanted with a PsychoMagnetâ„¢ which makes even the most stable of people batshit crazy.
Mark is currently "hiding" in wildly public places, and making as much noise as possible, while throngs of anonymous nutjobs accuse him of every salacious deed imaginable, such as the unseasonable rainfall of 2011, the murders of several prominent people who are still very much alive, and the 1915 sinking of the Lusitania. Mark is a carnivorous smoker who is Politically agnostic, unable to reproduce, refuses all manners of Internet dating, and generally believes that Murphy was an optimist.
May 3rd, 2012 at 5:15 pm by Mark
Tags: bonerwood, funny, innuendo, maps, names, nashville, real-estate, redundant
If I didn’t already know that Bonerwood Drive is just off of Edmondson Pike in Nashville, TN, I’d assume it was close to the intersection of Redundant and Innuendo. Especially when you consider how you go down below Whispering Hills and find Cherrywood…
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May 2nd, 2012 at 5:57 pm by Mark
Tags: animals, dogs, drugs, labrador retreiver, labs, sarcasm
Labs are known for their high intelligence, loyalty and eagerness to please. On the downside, they’re also known to be extremely needy, hyperactive and easily bored. Many people don’t realize how much attention they require. But as a constant companion, they’re about the best dog you can possibly own.
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May 1st, 2012 at 5:36 pm by Mark
Tags: camera, innuendo, kama sutra, photography, sarcasm, sex
If I’ve heard it once, I’ve heard it a million times: If there’s nudity involved, every guy suddenly becomes a Professional Photographer — as a ruse, as the finished product most always shows. Fortunately, an actual Photographer can be easily spotted by his attention and knowlege of Lighting and … Position.
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April 30th, 2012 at 5:32 pm by Mark
Tags: cars, license plate, university of virginia, vagina
You would’ve thought the DMV would’ve caught this one, on its University of Vagin… err… I mean, University of Virginity… err… University of Virginia vanity plate. 😉
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April 28th, 2012 at 10:26 am by Mark
Tags: coke, eminem, humor, racism, sarcasm, sprite
Now with added Lime.
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