Author Archive for Mark

After rounding the world four times and getting the piercings, but only having three earrings to show for it because he's too picky about what he'll actually put back in his ear, Mark attempted to settle down back in his hometown of Knoxville, Tennessee. This, of course, did not happen because, quite apparently, he has been biologically implanted with a PsychoMagnetâ„¢ which makes even the most stable of people batshit crazy. Mark is currently "hiding" in wildly public places, and making as much noise as possible, while throngs of anonymous nutjobs accuse him of every salacious deed imaginable, such as the unseasonable rainfall of 2011, the murders of several prominent people who are still very much alive, and the 1915 sinking of the Lusitania. Mark is a carnivorous smoker who is Politically agnostic, unable to reproduce, refuses all manners of Internet dating, and generally believes that Murphy was an optimist.

Happy Singles Awareness Day!

February 14th, 2014 at 1:18 pm by Mark
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Chin up. You could be with one of these…

Dysfunctional Valentines: "Like U As A Friend" "U Sound Like Ur Mother" "Ur Not That Fat" "OK 4 Your Age" "Platonic 4-Ever" "It' Not U, It's Me" "Not Tonight" "Not So Close, OK?" "Not Tonight" "Creeping Me Out" "Weird Kisser"

Unemployed Stormtrooper? There Is Hope!

February 13th, 2014 at 5:22 pm by Mark
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The fall of the Galactic Empire was devastating to all Imperial personnel. Stormtroopers seem to have had even fewer opportunities, regardless of whether they were human or clones. Fortunately, there is a niche for almost everyone if they look hard enough…

Snowtrooper: It's hard to find a job after the Death Star blew up.

Get $20 of bonus stock when you make a deposit on Stash!

Ironic Media Interview with Jogger

February 13th, 2014 at 3:00 pm by Mark
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Portland, Oregon news channel 6 caught up with some local joggers Sunday night. Quotes one jogger, known only as Chelsea, “It’s the perfect texture for running, very low impact and it’s dry snow, so your feet don’t get wet.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1vfH5BVda9s

Tip: Singer-Songwriter Jason Ellis, via Facebook

Some People Not Fond of Snow

February 13th, 2014 at 1:02 pm by Mark
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I love snow. I’ve got nine inches. Got quite a lot of snow, too.

Church Sign: "If you're praying for a Blizzard please go to Dairy Queen."

Robinhood: Free Stocks for your Referrals!

The Beauty of Life

February 12th, 2014 at 7:59 pm by Mark
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Ignorance is bliss, right?

Sometimes I think about how beautiful life is.  And then I shit on the carpet.