After rounding the world four times and getting the piercings, but only having three earrings to show for it because he's too picky about what he'll actually put back in his ear, Mark attempted to settle down back in his hometown of Knoxville, Tennessee. This, of course, did not happen because, quite apparently, he has been biologically implanted with a PsychoMagnetâ„¢ which makes even the most stable of people batshit crazy.
Mark is currently "hiding" in wildly public places, and making as much noise as possible, while throngs of anonymous nutjobs accuse him of every salacious deed imaginable, such as the unseasonable rainfall of 2011, the murders of several prominent people who are still very much alive, and the 1915 sinking of the Lusitania. Mark is a carnivorous smoker who is Politically agnostic, unable to reproduce, refuses all manners of Internet dating, and generally believes that Murphy was an optimist.
February 2nd, 2014 at 9:01 pm by Mark
Tags: broncos, oj simpson, sarcasm, seahawks, superbowl
I knew it was over when I saw a friend make the Facebook post, “Who gave Mr Manning hallucinogenics?? Poor thing looked like he didn’t recognize the football…”
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February 2nd, 2014 at 5:08 pm by Mark
Tags: acronyms, facebook, single
The trick is to never, ever try and make up an acronym that has any of your own initials…
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February 1st, 2014 at 7:55 pm by Mark
Tags: aliens, crop circles, drinking, drunk, justin bieber
The same could be said to Justin Bieber…
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February 1st, 2014 at 5:34 pm by Mark
Tags: irony, vandalism
Sometimes, vandalism is clever enough that it almost excuses it…
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January 31st, 2014 at 5:07 pm by Mark
Tags: bill gates, decisions, money, world peace
While it’s true that money could buy a lot of Peace, it could also cause a lot more headaches. World Peace would just as fleeting, because you’re simply not going to change everyone no matter what you do. Given this case, neither choice has any permanence, so it’s difficult to make a decision.
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