I’ve popped the tops off of plenty of ketchup and mustard, and quite honestly, I wouldn’t mind facing a Federal pension. 😉

Warning: NSFW (Language)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0VqC6KXNh40

Back in February, Robert “Vanilla Ice” Van Winkle was arrested and charged for the theft of a pool heater, a few bicycles and other items from a Florida home. He first claimed that the items were curbside, however, later changed his story that it was all a misunderstanding. Doesn’t take a psychic to see where this trail leads. Though, if he needed a psychic, he could steal a smart phone and get SMS Readings from one. Yeah, that’s a thing. Psychic readings over text. If I was as rich/famous/whatever-Vanilla-Ice-is I’d probably start my day with one, just to avoid getting into lawsuits.

Back on topic, unfortunately, I believe this was the same kind of rationalization which led him a to a guilty verdict for plagiarism in a case brought forward by David Bowie and Queen back in the 80’s… Today, Mr. Ice Van Winkle accepted a plea deal that allows him to make $1,300 in restitution to the victims of his theft and perform 100 hours of Community Service with Habitat for Humanity — and stay out of jail. Must be nice being a celebrity…

Now that he’s out of hot water he has a TV show or something where it’s basically Pimp My Ride, but it’s people’s houses instead. I guess building houses for 100 hours was long enough to get addicted to it, because he’s taken to it like a fish to water. And he’s more buff than I remember. It’s worth a watch. Imagine Jersey Shore, Pimp My Ride, and any given HGTV show all rolled into one and you’re pretty much watching it already.

Who would have ever imagined Vanilla Ice, of all people, making something that would last longer than a few weeks (ha ha ice burn)? And it’s all because he couldn’t keep his hands off of other peoples’ things.

But when it comes from Sony, you know it’ll be another stupid piece of shit that doesn’t f#$%ing work.

Fortunately, no one was home during the disturbance.

No matter how many women you know named Billie Jo or Betty June, not too many are gonna throw it on their license plate like this…