Author Archive for Mark

After rounding the world four times and getting the piercings, but only having three earrings to show for it because he's too picky about what he'll actually put back in his ear, Mark attempted to settle down back in his hometown of Knoxville, Tennessee. This, of course, did not happen because, quite apparently, he has been biologically implanted with a PsychoMagnet™ which makes even the most stable of people batshit crazy. Mark is currently "hiding" in wildly public places, and making as much noise as possible, while throngs of anonymous nutjobs accuse him of every salacious deed imaginable, such as the unseasonable rainfall of 2011, the murders of several prominent people who are still very much alive, and the 1915 sinking of the Lusitania. Mark is a carnivorous smoker who is Politically agnostic, unable to reproduce, refuses all manners of Internet dating, and generally believes that Murphy was an optimist.

Wishes for 2014

January 1st, 2014 at 5:03 pm by Mark
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Sarcasm aside, those with the most hope will get the jobs which will pay the amount of cash necessary to buy any amount of bacon.

No Hope.  No Cash.  No Jobs.  No Bacon?  Please Don't Die!

Happy New Year!

January 1st, 2014 at 12:00 pm by Mark
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For those who feel nostalgic…

RIP 2013: 2013-2013

I, for one, don’t. 😉

Happy New Year!

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New Years Eve 2013

December 31st, 2013 at 7:35 pm by Mark
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blogitude.com wishes everyone a Happy and Safe New Years Eve celebration! Be extremely safe, in fact — don’t drink and drive!

And when you’re making resolutions, or making wishes, be careful what you ask for. 😉

Facebook Status: "Takin Applications for a midnight kiss. Send picture of lips."  Answer 1: (Rocky Horror screenshot with Dr. Frank-N-Furter) Answer 2: "Lol priceless"  Answer 3: "U want mustache in the pic or not"

99 Problems?

December 30th, 2013 at 5:29 pm by Mark
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Sometimes, the thirteen others can be from a single cause… 😉

Relatable Post #5593: I've got 99 problems and 86 of them are completely made up scenarios in my head that I'm stressing about for absolutely no logical reason.

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Viral Book Reviews: How To Avoid Huge Ships

December 29th, 2013 at 5:09 pm by Mark
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I’ve never read this book, but the Amazon reviews are nothing short of fascinating.

Instructions too complicated, December 28, 2013
By Eric Post

Instructions too complicated. Got my dick caught in a ceiling fan. I would not recommend this book, except as firewood.

I truly hate it when any book causes me to get my manhood trapped in a ceiling fan.

"How To Avoid Huge Ships" by Captain John W. Trimmer