Author Archive for Mark

After rounding the world four times and getting the piercings, but only having three earrings to show for it because he's too picky about what he'll actually put back in his ear, Mark attempted to settle down back in his hometown of Knoxville, Tennessee. This, of course, did not happen because, quite apparently, he has been biologically implanted with a PsychoMagnetâ„¢ which makes even the most stable of people batshit crazy. Mark is currently "hiding" in wildly public places, and making as much noise as possible, while throngs of anonymous nutjobs accuse him of every salacious deed imaginable, such as the unseasonable rainfall of 2011, the murders of several prominent people who are still very much alive, and the 1915 sinking of the Lusitania. Mark is a carnivorous smoker who is Politically agnostic, unable to reproduce, refuses all manners of Internet dating, and generally believes that Murphy was an optimist.

Tattoo Fail

July 23rd, 2013 at 5:03 pm by Mark
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If you’re intent on getting a tattoo, it’s highly important to make certain that your tattoo artist has a proper grasp of English spelling and grammar…

Tattoo: "Nothing Last's Forever"  ... Fai'l

Parking Ordinance Irony

July 22nd, 2013 at 5:51 pm by Mark
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Of course, the next time you’re going to make fun of a city’s parking ordinances, it’s a good thing to remember that they do have the authority to boot or tow your car…

Not Allowed to Park Here ... Forced to Park Here

Stock Photos

Bad Van Design: Jersey City Parking Authority

July 21st, 2013 at 5:44 pm by Mark
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I’ll bet Jersey City is the only place in the country where the parking fines come with a happy ending…

Jerking Authority

Grumpy Cat: Keep Calm

July 20th, 2013 at 5:37 pm by Mark
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Aside from wondering whether Grumpy Cat is grumpy because her name is “Tard,” I also wonder that if a suitable replacement is found after Grumpy Cat’s death, will she be named “ReTard?”

Grumpy Cat: "Keep Calm and Hate Everyone"

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Why the Pink Flamingo Lawn Ornament Actually Died

July 19th, 2013 at 5:28 pm by Mark
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When Union Products, Inc. stopped producing Pink Flamingo lawn ornaments in 2006, everyone assumed this was the end of the Pink Flamingo. Cado Manufacturing, having owned the rights to produce the Pink Flamingo since 2010, has still faced many challenges in manufacturing and sales, not to mention problems with Zombie Garden Gnomes…

Zombie Garden Gnomes Kill Pink Flamingo