Author Archive for Mark

After rounding the world four times and getting the piercings, but only having three earrings to show for it because he's too picky about what he'll actually put back in his ear, Mark attempted to settle down back in his hometown of Knoxville, Tennessee. This, of course, did not happen because, quite apparently, he has been biologically implanted with a PsychoMagnetâ„¢ which makes even the most stable of people batshit crazy. Mark is currently "hiding" in wildly public places, and making as much noise as possible, while throngs of anonymous nutjobs accuse him of every salacious deed imaginable, such as the unseasonable rainfall of 2011, the murders of several prominent people who are still very much alive, and the 1915 sinking of the Lusitania. Mark is a carnivorous smoker who is Politically agnostic, unable to reproduce, refuses all manners of Internet dating, and generally believes that Murphy was an optimist.

Wish Your Girlfriend Was This Dirty?

May 16th, 2013 at 5:46 pm by Mark
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For every guy who’s unsatisfied with the level of intimacy in his relationship, there are at lease two women who are equally unsatisfied with amount of attention their man gives them. And that is an unfortunate, but quite realistic, reality check…

"I Wish My Girlfriend Was This Dirty"  She is.  Just not around you...

Inappropriate Touching?

May 15th, 2013 at 9:09 pm by Mark
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There’s a fine line between prostitutes, doctors and TSA Agents these days… Apparently, that line is drawn around your crotch.

Prostitutes, Doctors and TSA Agents: All Get to Touch Your Junk

Get $20 of bonus stock when you make a deposit on Stash!

Today’s Weather Forecast: Bipolar With a Chance of Pollen

May 14th, 2013 at 5:31 pm by Mark
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“It wasn’t this cold this time last year!”

Yes, it was.

“But I was outside in shorts in April last year.”

You were this year, too.

“Oh, yeah…”

This argument happens every single year. But this year, spring did wait a while to make its presence known…

Spring... Just took a shit on my car.

Master Yoda Speaks About Breeding

May 13th, 2013 at 9:19 pm by Mark
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Sounds like some people I know, and unfortunately, the damage is already done to their children, as well. At least I had the good sense to not

Stupid you are. Breed, you should not.

Stock Photos

Oh, You Need Something on Farmville?

May 12th, 2013 at 3:10 pm by Mark
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Interestingly, the people who detest Facebook games to such an infuriated degree are most likely those who once played them…

Thanks for the Farmville Request.  I sent you a tractor.