Author Archive for Mark

After rounding the world four times and getting the piercings, but only having three earrings to show for it because he's too picky about what he'll actually put back in his ear, Mark attempted to settle down back in his hometown of Knoxville, Tennessee. This, of course, did not happen because, quite apparently, he has been biologically implanted with a PsychoMagnetâ„¢ which makes even the most stable of people batshit crazy. Mark is currently "hiding" in wildly public places, and making as much noise as possible, while throngs of anonymous nutjobs accuse him of every salacious deed imaginable, such as the unseasonable rainfall of 2011, the murders of several prominent people who are still very much alive, and the 1915 sinking of the Lusitania. Mark is a carnivorous smoker who is Politically agnostic, unable to reproduce, refuses all manners of Internet dating, and generally believes that Murphy was an optimist.

Soy Sauce Surprise

April 1st, 2013 at 5:57 pm by Mark
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Don’t forget, as an added bonus, to replace all of the table salt with sugar.

April Fool's Prank: "Soy Sauce Suprise"  Combine Sprite and Soy Sauce in a Diet Coke bottle

Ironic Netflix Delivery

March 31st, 2013 at 5:10 pm by Mark
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You can also test Netflix stamina for irony by repeatedly ordering the movie, “Limitless.”

Netflix Broken Disc: "Unbreakable"

Robinhood: Free Stocks for your Referrals!

Home Improvement Supplies Suck at WalMart

March 30th, 2013 at 5:25 pm by Mark
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While the Home Improvement guys are busy trying to figure out how to fix their sign, one of the salespeople in Electronics is wondering where he can get a new cell phone…

WalMart "Fasteners" Aisle Sign Needs ... Fasteners

 

Dr. Pepper Accepted at McDonald’s

March 29th, 2013 at 5:36 pm by Mark
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I’ll be the asshole at the drive-thru trying to pay for my upsized double-quarter-pounder with four two-liter Dr. Peppers…

Visa. Mastercard. American Express. Discover. Star. Interlink. McDonald's Arch Card. Oh, good. They accept Dr. Pepper here!

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Hostess Bankrupt Due to Racism?

March 28th, 2013 at 5:51 pm by Mark
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While everyone remembers the demise of the Twinkie, only a handful of people remembered that Hostess also produced Wonder Bread. They will now be distinctly remembered in History for their poor product packaging layout, marketing their bread to Smart White Kids instead of other minorities…

Wonder Break: Smart White Kids