After rounding the world four times and getting the piercings, but only having three earrings to show for it because he's too picky about what he'll actually put back in his ear, Mark attempted to settle down back in his hometown of Knoxville, Tennessee. This, of course, did not happen because, quite apparently, he has been biologically implanted with a PsychoMagnetâ„¢ which makes even the most stable of people batshit crazy.
Mark is currently "hiding" in wildly public places, and making as much noise as possible, while throngs of anonymous nutjobs accuse him of every salacious deed imaginable, such as the unseasonable rainfall of 2011, the murders of several prominent people who are still very much alive, and the 1915 sinking of the Lusitania. Mark is a carnivorous smoker who is Politically agnostic, unable to reproduce, refuses all manners of Internet dating, and generally believes that Murphy was an optimist.						
					 
        
                
                        
                                
March 12th, 2013 at 7:12 pm by Mark
Tags: decisions, gas-prices, ocd, psychology
				
	If you’re OCD, no matter which way you go, you’ve screwed up.

 
		
Add to Favorites | 
Permalink
 | Comments Off on OCD Makes Decision-Making Nearly Impossible
                         
                
                        
                                
March 11th, 2013 at 9:28 pm by Mark
Tags: advertising, aquafresh, racism
				
	Given the current socio-political atmosphere, it’s absolutely impossible not to offend someone when attempting to advertise a product.  Taco Bell upset Vegetarians, Coca Cola upset Arab-Americans and Volkswagen didn’t upset Jamaicans — but totally pissed off a bunch of white Americans who wanted to cry racism.  This Aquafresh ad is dedicated to those people…

 
		
Add to Favorites | 
Permalink
 | Comments Off on Racist Product Ads
                         
                                
March 10th, 2013 at 1:42 pm by Mark
Tags: chewbacca, facebook, hacking, phones, prank, star wars
				
	This is the perfect time to perform the otherwise useless skill of yelling, “Dude! She called you a scruffy-looking nerf-herder!” in Shyriiwook.

 
		
Add to Favorites | 
Permalink
 | Comments Off on Facebook Status Hack? Check. Phone Prank? Check.
                         
                
                        
                                
March 9th, 2013 at 5:38 pm by Mark
Tags: cassette, innuendo, pens, sex, tapes
				
	If you get this, it doesn’t mean you’re old.  It just means you have a sick mind.

 
		
Add to Favorites | 
Permalink
 | 2 Comments
                         
                                
March 8th, 2013 at 5:34 pm by Mark
Tags: driving, license plate, mirror, parking
				
	Have you ever seen something in the rearview mirror that made you turn around and do a double-take?  Happens to me all the time…

 
		
Add to Favorites | 
Permalink
 | Comments Off on Rear-View Mirror Fail