After rounding the world four times and getting the piercings, but only having three earrings to show for it because he's too picky about what he'll actually put back in his ear, Mark attempted to settle down back in his hometown of Knoxville, Tennessee. This, of course, did not happen because, quite apparently, he has been biologically implanted with a PsychoMagnetâ„¢ which makes even the most stable of people batshit crazy.
Mark is currently "hiding" in wildly public places, and making as much noise as possible, while throngs of anonymous nutjobs accuse him of every salacious deed imaginable, such as the unseasonable rainfall of 2011, the murders of several prominent people who are still very much alive, and the 1915 sinking of the Lusitania. Mark is a carnivorous smoker who is Politically agnostic, unable to reproduce, refuses all manners of Internet dating, and generally believes that Murphy was an optimist.
February 3rd, 2013 at 5:20 pm by Mark
Tags: 49ers, pepperidge farms, superbowl
It’s a popular debate, but my pick is still 49ers by six…

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February 3rd, 2013 at 3:16 pm by Mark
Tags: beyonce, music, superbowl
For those who haven’t heard, Beyoncé will be lip-syncing at the Superbowl…

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February 2nd, 2013 at 5:26 pm by Mark
Tags: anorexia, shirts
With a 6XL Men’s, I think someone might’ve sat on anorexia, and killed it dead…

(Available at Amazon.com)
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February 2nd, 2013 at 5:12 pm by Mark
Tags: annoying, aqua, barbie girl, songs
Ever get a song in your head that won’t go away, and you become so distressingly annoyed that you’re tempted to repeatedly impale your ear canals with a corkscrew? Take it from me — and trust me on this — It will not help… (see link)

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February 2nd, 2013 at 1:09 pm by Mark
Tags: awkward, innuendo, sex, shadow
Strangely, the Shadow didn’t seem to mind…

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