Author Archive for Mark

After rounding the world four times and getting the piercings, but only having three earrings to show for it because he's too picky about what he'll actually put back in his ear, Mark attempted to settle down back in his hometown of Knoxville, Tennessee. This, of course, did not happen because, quite apparently, he has been biologically implanted with a PsychoMagnetâ„¢ which makes even the most stable of people batshit crazy. Mark is currently "hiding" in wildly public places, and making as much noise as possible, while throngs of anonymous nutjobs accuse him of every salacious deed imaginable, such as the unseasonable rainfall of 2011, the murders of several prominent people who are still very much alive, and the 1915 sinking of the Lusitania. Mark is a carnivorous smoker who is Politically agnostic, unable to reproduce, refuses all manners of Internet dating, and generally believes that Murphy was an optimist.

Will the 49ers Win the Superbowl?

February 3rd, 2013 at 5:20 pm by Mark
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It’s a popular debate, but my pick is still 49ers by six…

Remember when the 49ers won a Superbowl? Pepperidge Farms Remembers.

Superbowl Half-Time Show

February 3rd, 2013 at 3:16 pm by Mark
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For those who haven’t heard, Beyoncé will be lip-syncing at the Superbowl…

Beyonce! Beytwice!

Stock Photos

Want an “I Beat Anorexia” T-Shirt?

February 2nd, 2013 at 5:26 pm by Mark
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With a 6XL Men’s, I think someone might’ve sat on anorexia, and killed it dead…

I Beat Anorexia T-Shirt (Small - 6XL)

(Available at Amazon.com)

What’s the Most Annoying Song You Can Imagine?

February 2nd, 2013 at 5:12 pm by Mark
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Ever get a song in your head that won’t go away, and you become so distressingly annoyed that you’re tempted to repeatedly impale your ear canals with a corkscrew? Take it from me — and trust me on this — It will not help… (see link)

"I'm a Barbie Girgle, in the Barbie world. Life in plastic, it's fantastic!" "Admit it. You read this with an annoying woman's voice."  NO. I started signing the freaking song. And now it's stuck in my head.  Thanks a lot.

Get $20 of bonus stock when you make a deposit on Stash!

Don’t You Hate it When Your Shadow Photobombs You?

February 2nd, 2013 at 1:09 pm by Mark
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Strangely, the Shadow didn’t seem to mind…

Awkward: That moment when you realize your shadow is having more fun than you are.