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Don’t forget, as an added bonus, to replace all of the table salt with sugar.

You can also test Netflix stamina for irony by repeatedly ordering the movie, “Limitless.”

While the Home Improvement guys are busy trying to figure out how to fix their sign, one of the salespeople in Electronics is wondering where he can get a new cell phone…

I’ll be the asshole at the drive-thru trying to pay for my upsized double-quarter-pounder with four two-liter Dr. Peppers…